Broken Dreams #1 : A Light To My Darkest Days

Chapter 34

Chapter 34

Fixed But Eventually Shattered

---

Dalawang araw na ang lumipas but I couldn't recuperate what happened.
Two days had passed and the scenes from that one particular night continues to flash in my mind as if it's a broken record that keeps on playing.

Palagi nitong pinapaalala sa akin na nangyari na nga ang hinihiling ko...noon.

But what was the point of dying when I couldn't embrace him anymore? It's not living if it's not with him!

There is still a chance that we might change before all hell breaks loose. We can still change the future before he decide to leave me alone again in this cruel world.

But because of his stubborness, the plot hasn't changed on what I have been thinking, when I saw him laying on the floor, hovering between life and death.

Hindi niya ba naiisip ang kanyang sarili? Did he choose death because he couldn't love someone else?

Bakit hindi niya ipinaglaban ang sarili? He choose to surrender than fighting!

Whether to give up or moving forward was the wrong and right thing to do...

Ilang beses ko nang sinabi sa kanya na hindi kami para sa isa't-isa. I couldn't gave him everything because I am not yet ready for commitment. I am not ready for falling yet I fell for the person who helped me but I knew...that it wasn't Kenji.

It was somebody else. It was Light. Only him. I only felt a spark with him. Wala nang iba.

Napahugot ako ng isang malalim na buntong-hininga. Kung kaya kong manipulahin ang oras, hindi ako mag-aalinlangan na bumalik sa nakaraan upang ayusin ang mga pagkakamali ko. The mistakes that I've done and the greatest loss that I've felt in my life.

Pero alam ko sa simula na imposibleng mangyari ang mga iniisip ko.

Hundreds of sorry isn't enough for an apology but what am I supposed to do?

All I could do now is to accept the fact that he will never be back. Endure the pain. Cry until the tears are completely gone in my face. Accept the challenges that kismet gave to me.

Sa panahon ngayon, hindi tumatagal ang mga taong marupok. Hindi nagtatagal sa mundo yung mga taong hindi marunong magtiis. People who never knew how cruel life can be.

I admit that it isn't always easy as it seems. But if we tried to accept every single challenge that is obligated for us, there is no doubt that you might surpass it.

Always look on the bright side of life but don't disregard the tasks that will help you grow.

Hindi tayo bumabata, tayo ay tumatanda at hindi umiiral lamang sa kasiyahan ang buhay. Mayroong pagkakataon na mahirap, it is inevitable to encounter difficulties in life.

There are times that we must take action. Kahit baby steps lang as long as you are growing, learning and changing. There's nothing bad if you only take it slow. Everything comes in a process. Depende na lang 'yon sa tao kung gusto niya ng mabilis o mabagal.

Ipinikit ko ang aking mga mata dahil pakiramdam ko ay umiikot ang aking paningin. Damn it!

"Are you okay?"

Wala sa sariling napatingin ako sa mukha ng lalaki na alalang-alala sa akin. Matipid akong tumango. "Oo, okay lang ako."

"Are you sure?" Paninigurado niya.

Because he wasn't convinced, I reassured him with a wide smile plastered in my pinkish lips.

Napatango na lang siya at naglakad papunta sa maliit na side table kung saan nando'n ang mga pagkain na binili niya para sa akin. Biscuits and some of my favorites. Pero paano niya nalaman na favorite ko yung sandwiches at peach mango pies?