Broken Dreams #1 : A Light To My Darkest Days

Chapter 35

Chapter 35

I Love You

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4:00 PM

"Miss Ashley Esperanza, you're good to go!"

The doctor informed an hour ago that I can go. At last, I can get out from this hospital. As much as I hate the smell of the aforementioned infrastructure, I felt like I am getting the hang of it. As if I was drawn to it's lingering yet abhorring scent.

Kahit na gusto ko nang makalabas dito sa ospital na 'to, parang nakapako ang aking mga paa sa sahig. I couldn't move. I couldn't stand up.

And for some unknown reason, I suddenly remembered what happened last night. Sinapo ko ang aking mga mata, without even using my mirror, I knew that my tears never stopped from cascading.

I couldn't help but to remember that particular night. It might be one of thise nights that I wouldn't forget.

---

"You're getting married?"

Literal na nalaglag ang panga ko. Ni hindi ko nga maiproseso kung tama ba talaga ang narinig ko.

In this particular moment, I thought that I dreamt that everything that I've heard was just my imagination. Na nakalimutan kong linisin yung mga eardrums ko and I misheard it.

When I saw him nodded and muttered 'yes', I felt as if the world had stopped from revolving. Pakiramdam ko ay tumigil ang pag-ikot ng mundo.

The sounds that echoes through my mind came to woke me up from a deep slumber. From the unsettling and inexplicable fact that we aren't meant for each other. That our souls aren't compatible to each other.

Pinagtagpo pero hindi itinadhana.

A simple, cliché phrase but it fucking broke my heart, hindi ko nga alam kung mabubuo pa ito muli.

Huli na rin nang mapansin ko na tuluyan nang magbagsakan ang mga luha na sinubukan kong pigilan na sinubukan kong ikubli dahil hindi ko alam kung ano ang gagawin o sasabihin ko.

Pero nagtataka pa rin ako. Why did he clung to me when he already had a significant other?

Bakit nandito siya? Is he toying my feelings?!

What if he told me that I am just his plaything? That he never actually loved me like how I adored him since the day he helped me to get out from my comfort zone. From the darkness. From the things that would completely break me.

"B-but why? Sabi mo na mahal mo ako pero bakit gano'n? Why did you give me some motives? Why did you made me fall for you? Ano ba talaga ang layunin mo? Did you come inti my life to break my heart until I couldn't repair myself anymore?"

I asked him as though he's a popular mystery writer and I am an avid fan of his thrilling novels. Mukhang dinaig ko pa nga ang reporter.

"I'm sorry---"

"Gago ka talaga! Pinaasa mo akong hayop ka!"

Hindi alintana ang mga luha na parang walang balak na tumigil sa pagkaskad. "Yung sa warehouse, ano 'yon? Di ba, sinabi mo na mahal mo ako! Ano yon, Light? Sagutin mo ako!"

Ni hindi nga siya makatingin sa akin. He averted his eyes when I asked him another set of questions, painted with abbhorence and desperation.

"Tell me Light, bakit mo ginawa 'yon? Bakit mo ako pinaglaruan?"

"Kung hindi ka naging affectionate sa akin, hindi ako aasa! Hindi ako mananatili sa tabi mo kasi simula nang tinulungan mo akong tumayo, mahal na kita!"