The People In Our Lives [KTH] ✓

20

Chapter 20: Let's begin again

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Ella's heart pounded vigorously against her chest.

Her mind blanked continuously as she repeatedly peered at the door.

The sun glowed brightly, lifting people's spirits immediately. Ella hissed at the intensity. She ruffled her hair in the hopes of making it look presentable. She rubbed her eyes to get rid of the dark bags under them.

She hadn't slept the whole night. She never went back to the apartment.

She spent the whole night roaming around, oblivious to the passing time. 

But all the hours she had spent alone helped her more than she thought it would. Because as soon as the sun rose, she called Jimin, asking him to meet her at the nearest coffee shop.

And now there she was. Her feelings on the loose and her vulnerability bare.

But she needed to do this.

When the door dinged open and the awfully familiar face came into view, Ella's breath caught in her throat. The anxiety took over but she projected serenity. 

She wondered whether Jimin could tell. He always knew when she was acting.

His eyes found her form, sitting patiently. His heart thumped suddenly, his fingers twitched nervously.

He made his way to the table she had picked and motioned at the chair, asking for permission.

Ella nodded slowly.

The minutes that passed after that were silent. Neither said a word, too scared to trigger anything.

One was unsure of what to say and the other was too rid with guilt. He felt like he didn't deserve to talk to her.

Ella's patience began to run thin. She opened her mouth to say something but he beat her to it.

"Before you say anything, I just want to tell you how sorry I am. I never meant to hurt you. What I did was so wrong and I'm so ashamed of myself. You don't know how much I've beaten myself over this. I hate myself for hurting you."

Ella didn't say anything. 

"Everything that had happened was all in a rush of time. I didn't think. I couldn't explain how I was feeling at that time. It just happened and I didn't stop it, so I have no excuse for that. But you have to know, I was so confused. I had never felt that way for a man before. Everything was just so muddled, I didn't know what to do."

She stared at him intently. Her expression was unreadable. Her mind blank, not knowing what to think. She wasn't so angry with him anymore. 

She sighed as she spoke.

"Jimin, you sleeping with a man wasn't the problem. The problem was that you cheated on me. You went behind my back anyway. Whether you were confused or not, you should have remembered that you were in a relationship."

He nodded understandingly. His eyebrows furrowed as pain flashed in his eyes. Her voice pierced him as he tried his best to hold back his tears.

"I know. I'm really sorry. I hate myself."

He had made a big mistake. He had single handedly pushed away the one person he had loved with all his heart.

"Don't be hard on yourself. Don't hate yourself for something that's already done. It's not going to make things any better", Ella spoke rather sternly. 

Her stiff face had softened a bit, but she didn't let her guard down.

"And to be honest, I don't know if I've truly forgiven you. But I know that sometime in the future, when I'm in a better place, I will have forgiven you completely. You have that security."

Jimin gave out a small smile as he looked at her with gratitude.

"Thank you, Ella. You have no idea how much this means to me."

Ella stifled her own tears as she chewed on her lip. She nodded back wearily. Everything was too much for both of them. She still managed to maintain her composure.

"So, where are you living now?" he asked.

"With a friend of mine. I'll be living there from now on. I'll get my stuff from the old apartment soon."

He nodded painfully.

"So, how is your relationship?" she asked, trying to lighten up the mood.

He looked at her with tired eyes, knowing how much he had damaged her.

"It's going good", he spoke cautiously. His heart clenched. The corners of his eyes felt wet. The guilt embedded to his heart.

"Ella, whatever I've felt for you, it's always been genuine. I've never once lied when I told you that I loved you. And if I'm being honest, I still do."

He watched her glistening eyes as a lump formed in his throat.

"And I know I've ruined everything and nothing will ever be the same. B-but just promise me that when all this gets better, you'll call me. Please don't throw me out of your life. Let's try to be friends at least. Whenever you're ready, I'll always be here."

Ella had always had a soft heart. A few tears leaked onto her cheeks as she continued to longingly stare at him.

Because at that moment, she saw the Jimin she had fallen in love with. She remembered why she had fallen for him. 

One mistake can never define a man. He had done an unpredictable thing, but he was still the same man she knew. He was a genuine, caring person who was incredibly sorry for what he did. 

She might be looking forward and forgetting the past. But he would always be rid with the guilt of his actions. And for that, she felt sorry for him.

No, Jimin was not a bad man. He was never a bad man. He just made a mistake.

And if she can find it in her to forget, she can find it in her to forgive in time.

"Okay", she whispered. The one word meant the world to him as his smile grew wider. 

His contagious smile put one on her face as well. Her gaze shifted to the window as she watched the world.

Her heart felt heavy and her spirits would take time to build up.

But she had taken an important step in her life.

And that was enough for her.

Because for the first time in her life, without anybody's help, she had opened her eyes.

She didn't regret a thing.

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A/N:

I really felt this chapter.

Thanks for reading❤