devil's advocate | (g)idle

it should have been me

"Yuqi, you need to eat, it's been 3 days." Soyeon mumbled, watching as the love of her life stared at the wall in front of her, unresponsive.

"I guess she still needs time." Soyeon thought, as she started to walk away, her eyebrow quirking up when Yuqi grabbed her wrist, pulling her into a much needed hug.

"I could have done something, Soyeonie. I watched my best friends sacrifice herself to save us all, and I just let it happen! Why didn't I do anything!" Yuqi started to cry, her tears hot and heavy, as Soyeon held her tight, fighting back the urge to cry on her own.

"It's not your fault, Qi. How would you have known? This is completely out of our control, unfortunately. We just need to hope that we can get around this." Soyeon reassured her, as Yuqi's sniffles lessened a little bit, making her lean into the hug as Soyeon sighed loudly.

Soyeon didn't blame the girl for acting like this, not at all. She watched her best friend, the girl she's known for ages, fall into the depths of darkness, never to be seen again.

It was the same thing for Soyeon, except it was Soojin and not Shuhua, so she knew exactly how the girl felt. However, it was up to her to keep up her front, to make sure Yuqi was stable before she would even try to confront her own feelings.

It wasn't about her, and she would gladly let herself suffer just to make sure Yuqi was alright.

"I guess she finally ate." Miyeon whispered, as she watched Soyeon accompany Yuqi back up the stairs after making the poor young girl a sandwich.

"This is so hard on her, babe. Yuqi has never been one to handle stuff like this well, so when her friend disappears right in front of her eyes, I can get why she's reacting like this. It should have been me, instead." Minnie mumbled the last part, but Miyeon heard her.

"Hey, don't say that." Miyeon looked over towards Minnie, who's eyes were glossy.

"I should have died during the fall. It should be me who's dead, not them. If I hadn't been so selfish, everyone would be alive." Minnie whispered, as Miyeon looked at her delicately, her heart breaking into pieces as she heard the regret and blame in Minnie's voice.

"Look at me, don't you ever say that." Miyeon grabbed Minnie's chin softly, pulling her to face her, deciphering the emotion in her eyes.

"You deserve to be here, Min. We couldn't have predicted what would have happened, so please don't blame yourself for this, it's not your fault. If I have to remind you that you're worth it every day, I will." Miyeon half scolded Minnie, who had a small sad smile on her face.

She couldn't help but feel as if this whole thing really was her fault, after all, the fall was what caused this in the first place. Prophecy or not, it's her fault that everyone ended up down here, and towards their eventual death.

Minnie and Miyeon stopped talking, upon hearing Yuqi's continued cries and screams, with Soyeon bolting down the stairs and straight into the kitchen.

"Is everything alright Soyeon?" Miyeon asked, as Soyeon nodded hastily.

"Yuqi's having a nightmare, that's all." Soyeon answered emotionlessly, heading back upstairs to go care for the other girl.

Minnie couldn't help but feel sad that this is what has become of them. Yuqi is having flashbacks now, Soyeon is denying herself the feeling of sadness and emotion, so much so that it's making her emotionally numb, Miyeon doesn't even know how to feel yet, and Minnie feels guilty.