Nocturne of Nightmares: A Retelling

Chapter Seven

WE WALKED ALONG THE STREET with Ray up front. It felt vaguely familiar, the grey-bricked road, with an island of trees down its middle and the row of houses on our left, hidden behind shrubs and tall walls. The streetlights lit our path, cutting through the insufficient glow of the blood moon.

What's that child - what am I - doing here? I wondered. Are these really my memories? Am I'm going to die next? Despite my resolve, my mind was full of questions. Stop overthinking, Ziya. You're only scaring yourself.

"Ziya."

I felt a warm grip on my wrist, and I turned to see Subaru staring at me. The heterochromia intensified his gaze, even in the dark. His red eye... it was still so beautiful to me. He had been walking behind me, he literally had my back, but I must have slowed down in my moment of distraction. When I looked forward, I realised there was a decent gap between us and the others. Great, I can't even focus long enough to walk in between them like they'd asked. As I thought this, the guys slowed down one by one, silently waiting for me and Subaru to catch up.

"I know it's hard, but you've got to stay calm. Take a deep breath," he said. "If you lose your head here, you won't be able to make it." Subaru's words almost sounded like a reprimand, but my heart started to feel lighter hearing them. "I'm right behind you, so don't worry. Come on, deep breaths."

"Thanks, Subaru," I nodded, stopping in my tracks and doing my best to smile.

"Close your eyes. Breathe in... and out..."

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath in rhythm with Subaru's voice. It was even-toned and calm, gradually soothing the anxiety stirring within me. He was right; I couldn't lose my cool. I should have learned that from what had happened before. A moment later, I opened my eyes.

"I feel better now."

"Good." I saw a ghost of a smile as Subaru started walking beside me. His cool and collected way of caring for me warmed my heart.

"Sorry if I'm slowing us down," I thought out loud.

"I told you not to think too much."

"Right," I scratched the back of my neck, giggling in awkward embarrassment. Subaru gets somewhat distant, but he's helped the group out a lot so far. "You know, you seem very closed off, but I noticed that you're pretty observant. You even pick up on stuff Ray would usually overlook. I appreciate it a lot."

"It's not like that..." he murmured.

"Then what is it?"

"It's to protect you." I glanced at Subaru in confusion, but he didn't look back at me. "I feel like I need to keep you safe." He looked down, kicking a pebble. We watched it roll down the street together. "It's like my lost memories are telling me that if anything happens to you, I'll regret it."

Ah... I was a little surprised, but somehow, I understood what he meant. Subaru saw me standing there silently and looked away bitterly.

"I know it's weird to think like that about someone I barely know, but..."

"I understand how you feel. It's like every main area in this world has a sense of déjà vu about it." And when I thought about it, I had felt that same sense of déjà vu when I first saw Subaru's eyes. When I thought about it, I couldn't bear it if he got hurt either.

As I lifted my chin to look at his ruby eye, our gazes locked. He didn't say anything, but the look on his face seemed to beckon me to rely on him. It was then that I realised I trusted him.

"I'm scared, Subaru." I was letting out the emotions that I'd been holding back. He looked surprised for a moment, but then nodded for us to keep going forward; we were close enough to the guys that they had started walking again, but I leaned towards Subaru. "This world is scary, and since we started coming here, being awake hasn't felt much better. I'm always worried that one of us might not wake up, that we'll all be stuck here. Of course, I'm afraid of dying, but I'm also afraid of finding out the truth behind this nightmare."