Nocturne of Nightmares: A Retelling

Chapter Twenty-One

     MY HEART RAMMED AGAINST my chest like a roaring ocean wave. The creature's gargantuan claws came crashing down on me, sending searing jolts of pain throughout my body, until I saw nothing but the crimson which splattered from my skin as I fell to the floor – the excruciating pain matched with the sight of my own blood had brought me to the edge of fainting.

"Ziya..?" Horrified, Subaru ran over to me and held me up. "Ziya! Please wake up, Ziya!"

I looked up at Subaru through a gust of smoke, my vision blurring. His tears dripped onto my cheek and mingled with my blood, stinging as they ran into the cuts. It stung just enough to keep me responsive.

"I'll be fine, Subaru. Save yourself." It hurt to speak, not that I cared. I finally understood how Licht had felt when he'd jumped in front of the monster for me. Is this what he meant when he said I always thought of others before myself? I could say the same thing about him. I could...

"Th-There's no way I'm leaving you, Ziya!"

I sensed the monster approaching; the eerie sound of it dragging its body drew closer and closer. "Please, Subaru! You have to get outta here!"

With each step it took, the wooden floor began to give way, until we were too late. The floor caved under Subaru and me, and we fell headfirst into a black abyss beneath. This is the end. I could hear the monster's furious roar from above as I slowly closed my eyes and drifted out of consciousness. Free-falling, the last thing I felt was the warmth of Subaru's body clinging tightly to me, to protect me. And then, I woke up.

The morning sun cast its rays through beige curtains. I was too disorientated to question how I'd come to be in the familiar second floor bedroom at the orphanage, or the lack of a blood red moon. Unlike the warm sunlight, my heart felt immensely heavy. It felt hard just to be alive.

"Subaru!" Out of nowhere, I caught sight of Ray's younger self. "Hey, Subaru, are you listening to me?"

Ray was talking to me. Confused, I tried to move my head, but I couldn't; something in the window caught my eye. The reflection took me by surprise for a second when I realised that this body wasn't my own. This was Subaru's body, and I couldn't help but wonder if I was dreaming. Surely, heaven didn't look like this.

"Were you sleeping?"

Without answering Ray, I looked around at the other kids in the room. Thoma was in the corner by himself and Monica on the carpet, playing with her dolls, when suddenly, the door creaked open. Licht came in, grinning from ear to ear.

"Licht! Where have you been?" Ray asked with a huff, the beginnings of his trademark scoff. "We could've started the game earlier, but now it's time for art class."

Licht laughed, shrugging off Ray's complaints. I could see a little girl trying to hide behind him. That girl was me. The other kids started to gather around, and Licht introduced my younger self. I just nodded despite everyone's enthusiasm, not a trace of a smile on my face.

"Subaru, come here!"

Subaru tried to take a step, but something held him back – it's an invisible force, something growling at the pit of his stomach. His sense of dread took over, and all I could do was watch as things unfolded, trapped behind the glass of his eyes. Ultimately, Subaru did as he was told and introduced himself – eyes downcast. His head low and his bangs over his eyes, he squeaked out a hello. Subaru did his best to hide his eyes, yet he bobbed his head up and down gently, testing to see if my younger self would react. But instead of recoiling in fear, I reached out to pat him on the head.

"Umm..." As Subaru lifted his head, his bangs swayed to the side, revealing both of his eyes completely.

"Ah." My younger self stared at Subaru with her vacant eyes, her petting hand caught in the air. "So pretty..."