Nocturne of Nightmares: A Retelling

Chapter Twenty-Three

     "THE OFFICIAL STATEMENT FROM THE POLICE DEPARTMENT CONCLUDES THAT THE VICTIMS' DEATHS WERE CAUSED BY A TRAUMATIC BLOW TO THE BACKS OF THEIR HEADS. WHILE A QUESTION OF 'WHY' STILL LINGERS IN THE PEOPLE'S MINDS, AS FAR AS THE POLICE ARE CONCERNED, THE CASE IS CLOSED."

Ray clutched the steering wheel tightly. "I can't believe they can just brush off Thoma and Monica's deaths like that."

I know it's upsetting. We were always keeping track of the investigation, none more so than Ray, as if he was expecting something good to come of it. But each time, we were left more heartbroken than the last.

"We'll never forget," I whispered, looking at the bouquet of flowers in my hands – the chrysanthemums seemed befitting and lilies had always been a favourite of mine. "The world may forget, but we'll always remember them."

Ray and I climbed out of the car that had once been Thoma's, and the outside air smelled strangely of summer rain. However, the breeze carried with it a chill, reassuring us that we were in the middle of winter. Ray arrived at my side, and I handed the flowers to him. As we made our way onto the grass, the cold nipped at the skin under my socks even though they were pulled all the way up to my knees. I tried to ignore it. Besides, no weather could keep us away.

"Hey, it's been a while." Ray set the bouquet down gently upon Thoma's grave – the plaque was modest, and the first time I'd seen it, I'd thought it was almost too simple for Thoma, but with time, I had come to like it. "Ziya's here, too."

"Hey, Thoma." The breeze blew gently, caressing my cheeks. It feels like you're here. I liked to believe that he was.

Ray didn't say anything for a while, but I knew, in his heart, he was praying. And Thoma was listening. His shoulders twitched for a moment, and I reached for him, wrapping my hands around his waist.

"Ray..." I pressed my cheek against his back, tightening my hold on him.

"Heh. Don't worry. I'm fine." I rubbed my face against his back, and he scoffed. "Stop that. That tickles, you know."

I could hear the smile in his voice, so I let him go, and he finally faced me. He was shining in the sunset, eyes wet with what was left of the tears he had tried to brush away.

Thoma, can you hear me? I promise you, once again...

Ray set his hand down on my head, gently ruffling my hair. "Thanks, Ziya." I'll take care of Ray. No matter what lies ahead, I will never leave his side. "Let's go home!"

Because I love him.

Before we left, I turned to look back at the grave one last time. I could almost feel Thoma waving back at me. The mere thought brought tears to my eyes, and when I noticed one fall onto my cheek, I turned to make sure Ray couldn't see me. He didn't need to find me crying like this. I pulled myself together and followed him to the car. I'm so sorry, Thoma. I wish you were still here.

From the cemetery, Ray drove me home, as had been the routine every Sunday since the funeral. At the time, Licht had been in the hospital, but Ray, Subaru, and I had attended by the grace of Thoma's parents. They'd remembered us from the motel, and though it had been painful, we were thankful to them for letting us stay. I recalled how tightly Ray had clutched my hand in an attempt to compose himself – it had started to go numb, but I couldn't pull away. Subaru had tried his best to maintain that fortified expression of his, but...

We all cried.

The ceremony was beautiful, and we learned more about Thoma; like that he used to ride motorbikes with his dad on weekends and that his mom would help him sew the holes in his clothes after every fall. Or that despite his carefree demeanour, he was an A-student and put extra care into everything he did. He was really passionate about science... Most of all, he liked making people smile.