Nocturne of Nightmares: A Retelling

Chapter Seventeen

THE FOUR OF US STOOD BACK at Ray's command and tried to anticipate the forthcoming attack on Licht. It was the same pattern we'd seen before; the vision came when we least expected it. After that, we were all so focussed on what was happening in front of us that we forgot something else was coming. However...

No matter how long we waited, the monster didn't appear.

"What's going on?" I whispered. "Why isn't it showing up?"

"Don't let your guard down," Subaru reminded us, his eyes focussed on the darkness surrounding us as the apparitions disappeared completely.

But even after a few more moments of silence, there was still no sign of the monster. Not that I was hoping for it to show up. Who would? But this was so strange.

"We should be safe for now," Ray established. We eased up upon hearing his words, the tension leaving our shoulders, and we all looked at each other, both in wonder and relief. "So, that's what happened." Ray put his hands on his hips.

"Silas Ackerman had good intentions," I said matter-of-factly. "He only wanted to take away our bad memories."

"But that doesn't make what he did right," argued Subaru.

"Exactly," Ray agreed. "It's still a violation of our rights."

I could sense the rage built up inside of him, and I was suddenly relieved that Ackerman wasn't around anymore. I understood where they were coming from; even if the whole experiment was done out of goodwill, the end result was undoubtedly a tragedy. Some ended up losing their lives. And it seemed like even Silas himself had died because of this. But what about Licht?

"It's because I helped..." he said, remorse heavy in his voice. "It's my fault."

"Don't say that. It's not your fault." Ray looked at him sympathetically, took the words right out of my mouth. "You were doing everything you could to save us. So, um... well, y'know..." he blushed. "I'm sorry I doubted you."

A smile formed on Licht's face, just for Ray, and it looked to me like they were finally making up. But Licht's smile quickly disappeared.

"Licht... are you okay?" I prompted.

Bewildered, he lowered his head, clenching his fists. "I still don't know what happened after that day."

"Because the experiment failed, clearly," said Ray.

"Hmm. But it did take our bad memories away," I added before Licht's eyes could grow any wider.

Subaru intervened, "That means it only partially succeeded. The rest was an obvious failure. They failed to transfer Licht's good memories to us, and Licht..." he swallowed hard, not finishing his sentence.

But what about Licht?

"Haha. So, what happened to me?" His entire expression dimmed. "Did I die? If I'm dead, then that would explain why I can't go to the real world." I wanted to deny that possibility the moment it left his lips, but I had been guilty of thinking the same thing a night ago. I tried to take Licht's hand instead, but he pulled away. "Ah..." Even though he was the one to let go, he looked at me as if I'd rejected him - he looked just like I had when I found out I had been abandoned - and it broke my heart.

What about his heart? We knew now that Licht had saved us back then. I wanted to heal his heart, too. I wanted to fill it with good things and displace his emptiness, but his situation was so unique, so complex, that I didn't know where to begin. If I was him, what could someone even say to make me feel better?

"Licht..." I tried. I didn't give up, and once again I took his hand in mine, blanketing his fist in my palm. "Licht, please... I'm here. We'll figure this out together, I promise. And if you're stuck here in this world, then I'll stay here, too," I said with a bright smile, hoping to cheer us both up. I wanted to keep that promise with everything in me. "I won't abandon you. Not ever." But Licht's fist still quivered in my hold, the mix of emotions brewing inside him was ready to spill out.