Between The Two of Us

Chapter 38

Chapter 38

Tulala ako habang naghihintay sa labas ng room ni Kate. My tears are already dry from the crying that I made awhile ago. Nung nagising sya ay pinaalis nya ako. I don't have the chance to talk to her because of her anger to me.

Kagat labi kong pinaglalaruan ang daliri ko habang nakayuko. Kanina pa tunog ng tunog ang cellphone ko pero wala akong lakas na sagutin o kahit tingnan man lang yun. All I can think of right now is Kate's attempt of killing herself again, and the possible reason why she did it. There's a big part of me blaming myself. For being selfish, for being self centered. For escaping and running away.

"Anak..."

Nag-angat ako ng tingin kay mama. Inabutan nya ako ng tubig at tinanggap ko naman. Bumalik ang tingin ko sa ibaba ng naupo sya sa tabi ko. I bit my lower lip when she caressed my hair.

"Nag-away ba kayo ng kapatid mo?" she asked. Napalunok ako sa sinabi nya.

"What does she mean when she called you a slut?" maingat na aniya. Mabilis na binalingan ko si mama. Her eyes glittered with pity and gentleness. Napakurap ako ng nagbukol ang lalamunan ko.

"Dahil ba sa isang lalaki?" patuloy nya pa.

Umiling iling ako at yumuko kasabay ng pagpatak ng luha ko. Mabilis ko itong pinunasan.

"Hindi Ma. Wala akong aagawin sa kanya." I said with trembling lips.

I know Kate's condition. I know how hard it is for her. Between us, she's more fragile. She's more vulnerable. She's been abused. Pinagkaitan ng lahat. Habang ako, napalaki ng maayos, nabuhay sa maayos na pamilya. I am more blessed than her. And I don't have the strength to take away even her little way of being happy.

"Anak..." si mama at hinawakan ang kamay ko.

"Hindi ko sinasabi na magparaya ka. Based on your sister's reaction, I think she really likes the guy. I just want you to support her, stay beside her, as a family." aniya at nagsimulang umiyak.

Suminghap ako at tumango tango.

"Alam ko po."

"We can't lose her. We don't want to lose her right? She's our family. My daughter, your sister. We can't... lose her." paulit ulit na aniya at humagulgol. I pulled her for a hug before nodding.

"We won't... We won't lose her."  I said.

Because I won't let that happen again.

Tahimik ako habang nasa loob ng sasakyan ni Isaac. Sinundo nya ako kanina sa ospital. Ayoko pa sanang sumama pero sinabihan ako ni mama. She thinks that Kate will be fine without me there. Dahil kahit hinahanap nya ako, gusto nya lang naman na makita ako dun, ng mag-isa at walang kasama. 

Bumagsak ang tingin ko sa cellphone ko. Madaming text messages na pumasok, at ngayon lang ako nagkaroon ng pagkakataon na basahin yun.

Andy:

How's your sister? I've heard from Isaac. Is she fine?

Andy:

How about you? Where are you? Puntahan kita?

Arielle:

Are you okay? Just call me when you need me.

Arielle:

Tho I hate your sister, I'm wishing her to be fine.

Arielle:

Amara, dito lang ako ha.