Between The Two of Us

Chapter 32

Chapter 32

Para akong tanga.

No doubt, ang tanga ko talaga.

I don't know what on the Earth happened but I cried that night. After we bought everything, after he walked me in my car, after we bid goodbye, and after all the pretentions that I wore, I cried.

I cried because it fucking hurts. It hurts for some unknown reason. It made me regret things. It made me asks so may what ifs that I think it already clouded my mind. It made me wonder what could have beens.

But the thing is, what happened already happened. We cannot easily undo things. I already hurt him. I already left him. He begged but I was too selfish that I rejected him in my life.

At ang tanga ko lang. Ang tanga kasi inisip ko na pagkatapos ng sinabi nya magiging ayos ang lahat. Na babalik sa dati. Yung dating Amara at Tyrell na si Spencer lang ang problema. Sino ang magpapaligo, sino ang magluluto ng pagkain, saan kami magda-date. It was too easy for us before.

But like what happened to our poor dog, it all went gone. All those memories are now just memories. Mga alaalang nasa nakaraan na lang. Hindi na mauulit, at masakit ng balikan.

Kasi para saan pa? It will only complicate things. Why? Because even though we're not both in a relationship, things has changed. I don't know if he still loves me. He's kind, he's afraid of breaking my heart.

At aaminin ko, a part of me before believes that he just too nice to break up with me. That like me, he's also tired compromising. Especially after he saw the kiss. Especially after he doubted me. I know it's hard for him to hurt me so I'm the one who break it up.

Pero wala na din namang saysay na balikan pa yun. Because whatever happens in the past, will only remain in the past. All the promises, will only remain as a dream. It won't became a reality.

Kinabukasan din ng araw na yun binisita ako ni Kate. She's just too happy and I have an idea why. She told me that each passing day, she's liking Tyrell more.

I want to laugh at our situation. Like a deja vu.

"He's just too perfect. I really like him." she exclaimed and I saw her eyes twinkled.

Kumirot ang puso ko habang nakikinig sa mga kwento nya. Na kahit nakasulyap lang sya kay Tyrell ayos na sya. Na kahit tinatanggihan ni Tyrell yung lunch na dala nya, masaya sya na makita sya.

Because who knows right, that maybe, they develop some feelings for each other. Kate is beautiful. Very beautiful. And she has a strong personality. She can fight for what she really wants. She won't easily give up the battle without fighting all that she can. Something that I cannot do.

And me being her sister, doesn't want to break her heart. Because I just can't. She's dear to me and I love her. She's my family and I want to keep her. So as much as I can protect her from any heartbreak, I will, even if it means breaking my own.

Sa mga lumipas na araw ay hindi na ako masyadong lumalabas. Literal na bahay, trabaho lang ako. Palagi akong tumatanggi sa tuwing may nagyaya ng dinner or lunch out.

Kasi kahit na hindi ako kriminal, alam ko na may pinagtataguan ako. I don't want to just suddenly bump into him and made me regret things more. I am done doing it a long time ago. I must move forward. Because I cannot let myself to be stucked in something that I don't know if worth staying for.

Kaya naman noong birthday ni Andy ng sumunod na buwan ay hindi na ako nakatanggi. She keeps on ranting me on how I ditched all her invites to me. Ayoko naman talaga. But after all the encounters with Tyrell, I just realized that the world is too small for us, kaya ako na lang ang mag-aadjust.