passing notes | j.jk

chapter 50

New Notification!

Lee Bitna

Are you here yet?

Almost.

Give me a couple of minutes.

Sent

I could feel my heart beat uncomfortably in my chest, only becoming more erratic as I neared the library, where she was waiting. It was strange really, because it wasn't the same feeling that I had with Jia. With her, it was a sudden rush, a feeling of not being fully centered on the ground.

But now, it was a slow acceleration, the pounding becoming heavier the closer I got to the room. I nearly wanted to bolt in the other direction and forget all about our meeting, but it was too late for that.  And plus, Bitna had pestered me too much about it. If I didn't show up, she wouldn't let me hear the end of it.

"Come to the cafe when you have time," she asked one time before class started, "I want to sort things out. Not half-assed like we did last time."

"I already forgave you," I muttered, taking out my books, "It's fine."

"No, it's not," she protested, and when I looked up, I could see a glint of determination in her eyes, her eyebrows furrowed as she spoke. "I can tell you still hold it in your mind, and I do too. Let's get rid of  our bad memories together."

And so I was convinced into meeting with her on a dreary Saturday afternoon, at a small cafe near the school that I would sometimes see couples eat at afterschool.

I shuddered at the thought, shaking my head and a few raindrops fell onto the soaked pavement.

"It's just a meeting with a classmate," I reminded myself, "Nothing more, nothing less."

But even so, as I turned the corner and saw the restaurant name come into view, my somewhat-calmed heart steadily began to beat faster, as if I was preparing for a race. It only sped up when I opened the doors and peered nervously around the half-filled space, looking for her.

"Hey, Jungkook! Come here," came a voice, and I spun around to see Bitna, waving her hand at me, beckoning me to come. She had found a spot at one of the benches by the window, which was away from the main area of the cafe.

Her hair was curled into one side, cascading over her shoulder, the blonde parts reflecting warmly against the soft light of the cafe. She wore an off the shoulder blouse, decorated with a dainty floral pattern which matched the light color of her nails. It was a sharp contrast to me, who was wearing a simple grey hoodie and blue jeans that I quickly pulled out of my closet.

As I approached, suddenly feeling nervous about the difference in attire, I could see her eyes raking up and down my form, a smirk forming on her lips as I sat down.

"I see you like comfort," she commented, propping her head on her hand to stare at me.

I immediately looked to the side, avoiding her judging pupils as she continued to take in my appearance.

"I didn't know this was a formal event," I muttered, "I thought we were just here to talk, and you know, get over things."

"We are just going to talk," she replied, pushing a menu card towards me from the center of the table, "But it's still important. To me, at least."

My eyes darted to her to read her expression, but she was already looking down at the menu, her eyes reading through the lines of coffee and pastry items with a calm countenance. Deciding against speaking, I also looked through the menu as a quietness passed between us.

"So, have you decided yet?" she said, and I looked over my menu to see her's folded in her hand, staring at me with a bright glint in her eyes. The chirpy tone to her voice was a sharp contrast from the one she used to carry in middle school, and reminded me of the one she had when we had first met.

In more ways than one, Bitna seemed to have changed. From the way she spoke with me to how she carried herself at school, her presence was quieter yet brighter, and she somehow got me wrapped into this change as well.

However, however bright the current Bitna was, I always remembered the shadow that trailed behind it.

"Yeah," I said, setting my menu down.

Always. 

A/N: i'm sorry. 

quarantine has been one hell of a trip. i hope all of you are doing well, as well as your family and friends. this year probably can't be explained in words. please stay safe if you can. 

for a fun little bit of information, bitna's name comes from the root of the word "to shine" in korean, which is 빛나다 (bin-na-da). so her name means shine. 

this is a short set-up to their past history, which we are going to get into. 

i hope to see you all again soon. 

+ have a wonderful day/night, wherever you are.