The last goodbye

chapter 14

i don't know how long i sit there just staring at the blacked out window.

"you alright" newts voice asks.

i look up to find him standing leaning against a wall. i nod my head slightly.

"can i sit?" he asks. gently i nod my head and he takes the seat opposite me. i just continue staring out the window.

finally i ask "why do you put up with me?"

"what are you on about mia" he asks "is this about your memory? teresa told us what your mother said. and you shouldn't believe a word of it?"

"and why not newt?" i ask "why shouldn't i believe what she says. it would be so much easier. she tried to have me killed so many times. she threw me into wars for gods sake. my dad? he's nowhere to be found. and i just. i just can't anymore newt. I'm a freak. i always have been now more than ever. I'm so broken i don't think i can ever be fixed. and to be honest. I'm too tired to try. you should just go. everyone else seems to."

he doesn't speak. he cuts me off mid sentence by kissing me.

he eventually pulls away.

"who cares about your parent's mia" he says "your mother was wrong. you are loved. by every single person in that room. otherwise we wouldn't be retelling all these stories. and most importantly. i love you."

"i told you once. where i got this limp from" he continues

"in the maze" i say quietly. "you hated it. so you tried to kill yourself"

"see. you do remember some things" he replies.

"it's coming back in bits and pieces" i mumble "you kissed me for the first time after you told me that story"

"want me to tell you what happened the first time we met?" he asks.

i nod my head. i could do with some good memories.

"the first time we met was in the glade. that's the place where the gladers lived. i introduced myself as newt. you were scared and confused" he says

"i was not scared and confused. if anything that was you" i laugh

he smiles "ok ok maybe i made that bit up. but anyway thomas came to say hello and you passed out. you woke up days later and we had to decide weather or not to let you stay"

"they allowed me to....and for the next week or so i went around the jobs. you refused to let me try out for a runner. so the next day when i was working in the kitchens." i state laughing

"you chucked a fryinpan at my head" he supplies. "thank god it missed me"

I'm full out laughing now. "the look on your face when i did though. it was priceless"

he shoves me laughing.

"how could i ever have forgotten all this?" i ask leaning against his shoulder.

he shrugs. "you had other things on your mind i guess."

my smile slowly drops as more memories hit me.

"can umm. can i get a pen and paper?" i ask. "preferably big pieces"

he nods and races off coming back a few moments later with a pencil and paper. hurriedly so as not to forget any memories i begin drawing. 5 people. the 5 people that kept appearing in my nightmares.

"i didn't know you could draw" he says.

"trust me. neither did i" i mumble as i finish the last detail of the 13 year old boy. "do any of them look familiar to you?" i ask

he nods pointing at the 13 year old. "that's chucky" his voice catches as he speaks. "he umm. he died in the maze trials."

with a nod i write chucky below his sketch followed by his age and how he died.

i then move onto silena writing the same as i had done for chucky. it's like i get lost in my own little world and the next thing i know all the information has been filled in.

"red" newt yells. "red?"

"w..what?" i ask bolting to my feet.

"nothing. are you alright. you zoned out and i couldn't get your attention" he replies.

"i....im fine" i mutter gazing at the pictures before me. "but newt. i...i remember"

"remember what" he asks.

i look up as the tears fill my eyes. "everything"