Orochimaru's Creation (KakashiXReader)

WHY

(A/N: TRIGGER WARNING. This chapter deals with self harm and suicide. So please skip this chapter if you need to.)

~

Weeks had gone by since I looked at my kagune. I had eventually convinced Tsunade that I was okay and just needed alone time.

So these past weeks I've been alone.
With the exception of brief check ups from Kakashi, Jiraya and Naruto. I was so thankful for them but I still couldn't bring my emotions forward.

I was honestly getting sick of myself. I knew where the problem was but I couldn't stop.
    I'd spend a few hours a day staring into my bathroom mirror hoping to see myself cry or something.

Each day; nothing.

One night; I had finally had enough.

"Cry," I spoke calmly to my reflection at first. "

"You're hurting and you know it. Cry," I raised my voice a little. Still nothing.

"CRY DAMNIT!," I slammed my fist down on the bathroom counter. Still nothing.

Out of pure frustration; I punched my mirror. A bad habit I needed to stop but my mind was too clouded to worry.
When I punched it; a large shard came off. I picked it up and stared at it.

Do it, my mind taunted me.

You're nothing but this damaged freak show that can't even cry. Do it, my mind continued.

I squeezed the broken shard as my mind screamed this time,

DO IT!

I stopped thinking and sliced open my wrist. A part of me hoped the pain would've made me cry; but of course... that scary pain tolerance kept the tears away. I sat on my bathroom floor and watched the blood flow from my wrists. I finally could be rid of the burden I call myself.

And then it hit me.

What was I doing.

WHAT DID I DO.

I went to stand up but quickly realized I had lost too much blood already. My regenerative abilities wouldn't work fast enough to save me. The cuts were too deep.

I tried to stand up again but fell right back down.

This time I laid on the ground, I'm sorry. I wasn't thinking. I should've.

After those words rang through my mind; I heard a crash downstairs.
Someone had kicked in my door. They must've been knocking for awhile now.

I began to feel lighter. Would they make it in time to save me from this stupid decision? God I'm sorry to whoever finds me like this.

Not even a minute later someone was ramming against the bathroom door. I laid there silently; too weak to even speak.

Finally the door gave.

Jiraiya.

He ran to me and scooped me up, "What have you done shorty?" I managed to let out a strangled, "don't let anyone else see me like this."
He nodded and took off. I lost consciousness before we even left my house.

~hospital~

I could vaguely hear shouting all around me.

Tsunade being the clearest. "(Y/n), dammit. Why?"

I opened my eyes and saw blurry figures all around me. I blinked and it felt like everything was in slow motion. The last thing I saw before everything went black was Jiraiya closing the curtain and holding Kakashi back before he could see me.

Thank you Jiraiya.

~Kakashi's POV~

"Jiraiya. What happened?," we stood right outside her hospital room.

He shook his head, "You'll have to hope she'll want to talk to you about it later. In the mean time; don't tell Naruto she's here."

I furrowed my brow, "Why can't you just tell me what happened?

He rubbed his forehead, "She doesn't want you and Naruto to worry."

"But you can know?"

He gave me a frustrated sigh, "I only know because I found her Kakashi. She'll be fine. Just give her some time," he put his hand on my shoulder, "besides, shouldn't you get back to Hanare?"

I honestly forgot about her. I was on my way to see her when i heard (y/n) was being taken here.

I sighed, "I'll come back tomorrow."

~Jiraya's POV~

I watched Kakashi leave before I headed back into (y/n)'s hospital room. She was just waking up when I entered.

I gave her a minute before I spoke, "Why shorty?"

She looked at her nearly healed wrists.
Probably thinking about the scars she's gonna have.

She sighed, "I shouldn't be alive anyways Master Jiraiya."

"Oh, it's Master Jiraya now?," I shook my head, "what do you even mean (y/n)?"

She laid her arms down, "I'm only alive because of Orochimaru. I'm just a damaged monster."

I walked to her bed,"with all due respect," I quickly slapped her forehead.

She looked at me with pure shock, "What the hell was that for?"

I leaned down, "yes you're alive because of him; but you've also made a life here with people who love you. Did you not think about what Kakashi would've went through if he would've found you? You know what he went through with his father. Or what about Naruto?"
I stood up and she just looked down.

"I'm sorry," was her only response.

"That's it?," I asked calmly.

"I just want to feel again Jiraiya," she spoke just loud enough for me to hear her and I instantly felt bad for her.
I walked over and hugged her, "Just don't ever do this again shorty please."

She still didn't hug me back but I knew it's what she needed.

I let go, "Get some more rest shorty. You'll be out of here by tomorrow."

She nodded and I turned off the room light. I know she was in a hospital; but the way she talked had me worried about leaving her alone.

She was one of the most beautiful and strongest women I knew.
And I knew it would take some time; but I also knew that she could definitely get through this. This probably would've been easier for her with Kakashi by her side; but I hoped that Naruto and I would be enough.

I'd definitely try my best.
Anything for my shorty.