Leap of Faith

23:34

I let the words hang in the air as I consider their validity. I didn’t really want to talk about Adam, or the break-up. Anyway, it was common knowledge around Capshaw Academy. Everyone knew how Adam had cheated on the class freak with the class Princess so it wasn’t worth repeating, not that I would explain myself to a stranger anyway.

“How badly did he mess you up?” Theo questions me as if he knows my story already. When he notices my hesitation he speaks again. “It’s just that there’s only ever two reasons people hide in closets. Either they’re running from someone or they’re targets for sexual harassment from girls that only want you for your body. I ruled out the second theory because you’re a girl, and from the way your voice shook when you said you don’t want to talk about it, I guessed that it has something to do with a boy.”

I open my mouth to speak, and then promptly shut it. This guy already knows too much about me. I need to deflect the attention from me, but with very little information about Theo, I’m not sure of how I can put all the attention back on him. I sit next to him quietly, until I rehash over his words.

“Which girl wanted your body?” I eventually ask rather stupidly. I’m not sure why I want to know this information, but sometimes my brain and mouth work independently of each other, and I’m often surprised by what I say. That said, at least I wasn’t the center of attention.

“Jenna Griffin,” Theo answers without a beat. Even though I can’t see him, I can feel his eyes burning on my body, and I start to wonder how much of me he can see. Just as the silence starts to become uncomfortable Theo speaks again. “Who are you running from?”

“No-one,” I heave a sigh as I’m forced to answer him, against my better judgment. “Everyone.”

“Ah, my good old friends, No-one and Everyone,” Theo jostles me with his muscular shoulder and I topple over onto my side. “Shit, sorry. You ok?”

“I’m good,” I lie as I rub my bruised elbow. That body slam was a lot more painful than I would have thought it’d be. I can already guess that Theo’s tall and probably plays sports. At a guess, I would say he’s a football player. “I’ve never really been to a party like this before and I wasn’t expecting him to be here. I was hoping that he’d be at home, curled up in the fetal position, crying his heart out and listening to ‘I Will Survive’. Then I remember that he’s a boy and it’s only girls like me that do stupid stuff like that.”

“Girls like you? What does that mean?” Theo’s voice is filled with interest and he sounds genuine enough. Plus, we were going to be stuck in here for half an hour so we had better at least fill the awkwardness with conversation.

“I’m…” What exactly was I? I hated contemplating this because I was never sure about who I was. With Georgie I was one person, with Adam I was another and when I was with my parents I was someone I barely recognized. Who is the real me? “I’m confused.”