Leap of Faith

23:44

I had my first panic attack when I was eight and my mother took me to a huge birthday party at Jenna Griffin’s house.

There were about eighty kids there, which made sense seeing as Jenna is the most popular girl at school. She always had been and still to this day she rules Capshaw Academy more than any faculty member. Over half our class was there, and I remember walking around in a daze, trying not get caught up in the crowd of kids.

I’d never felt so trapped before, and as I got pushed from one place to another in the crowd, I started to lose all sense of where I was. People became blurs and colors melted into one. Voices, despite being so close to me, sounded as if they were a million miles away.

I knocked into things, creating more havoc as blaming stares started to fall on me. The only person I could make out was Jenna, and she was furious. Her eyes were glowing red and her forehead frowned as she stomped closer to me.

That’s when my ability to breath failed me. Instead I took in huge gulps of air that choked me until I was on my hands and knees panting, a hand pressed up to my chest just so I could feel my heart beating. There were flutters of palpitations, but nothing that made me feel safe.

I trembled uncontrollably as I started to cry. I can only imagine what a sight I was to behold. The embarrassment took over momentarily, and I started to blush profusely, the heat burning my cheeks so much that I felt like I was on fire.

Then the sweating started. And the nausea. Of course, just in case the humiliation wasn’t enough already, I started to cry.

“Freak,” I heard someone shout out at me.

I tried to get to my feet, but each time I did, I fell back to the ground. It wasn’t until I felt someone pick me up off the grass that I was able to get the hell out of there.

The next thing I knew I was sitting on a plush sofa surrounded by more adults than I had ever seen and a man holding a stethoscope to my chest. He was listening intently to my heart, while trying to ignore the noise around him and gave me a caring smile when our eyes met.

“I think you’ll be ok,” the man winked at me. I knew his face from somewhere but it wasn’t until someone called him Dr. Griffin that I could place him. “Is this the first time you’ve had a panic attack, sweetheart?”

I nodded. “Yes.”

“Must have been terrifying,” the doctor said grimly.

“Yes,” I agreed.

"Well, not to worry,” Dr. Griffin smiled. “We’ll get that sorted right out.”