Leap of Faith

23:48

“You ok?” He body goes rigid.

“No,” I bury my head further into his shoulder. “I’ve just realized something, that’s all.”

“Want to share?” He asks.

As if. What would I say, anyway?

Hi stranger that I met less than twenty minutes ago. I know that I hardly know you but I think I may have fallen for you already. You are quite simply the most amazing person I have met. You’re tall, you’re strong and you’re funny. You want to be an engineer, which is so cool in my book. You’re scared of clowns, and that’s endearing. You want to take me to a deserted island. You like

The Clash. You make me smile. You offered to take out my ex-quasi-boyfriend. You stayed with me and held me when I was falling to pieces. You say my name like it’s the center of your world. You’re still here… You accepted me as I am. Call me impulsive, call me stupid, and call me a freak but I don’t care. Theo whatever-your-last-name-is, I think I am in love with you.

If I told him any of that, he would run. As soon as his friend came back to let us out of here, he’d run and never look back. No-one can fall in love in half an hour.

“It’s nothing,” I fight to keep the sadness from my voice, but I fail. Even I know how dejected the words sound. “If you could be anywhere in the world right now, where would you be?”

“Anywhere?” Theo clarifies and I nod against him. He answers in a heartbeat. “I’d be right here.”

Damn it. That’s not what my head wanted to hear. That’s not what my heart wanted to hear either.

“I’d be in Australia,” I sigh heavily. “In antipodes terms, it’s almost on the opposite side of the world to where we are right now.”

"Why the other side of the world?” I half expected Theo to sound hurt, but his speech was controlled, almost void of emotion.

“If I were on the other side of the world then I’d be safe,” I mumble into his chest.

“You don’t feel safe here?” Now he sounded hurt.

“No,” I admit through gritted teeth. “You make me feel things that I don’t want to feel, and it scares me. Since I came in here and we got talking, everything about you has terrified me. Now, my heart is beating a million times a second and I can hardly breathe because you make me so nervous.

“Now I’m rambling on and on,” I wince, trying to pull myself from Theo’s grasp, but he holds me tightly. “Theo, I’m petrified of you and of how you make me feel. You know when I told you about my sister and how she was never the same once she had her heart broken? That’s how I’m feeling.”

“I don’t understand.”

“In just over ten minutes we are going to walk out of here, and tomorrow you won’t even remember me,” I feel a tear snake down my cheek. “It breaks my heart.”