Lord Day and Lady Night

32. Cat Ass Trophy

"Mother!"

Her Ladyship Henrietta Valentina Day, Dowager Duchess of Exeter, was just getting out of her carriage as she saw a familiar figure rushing towards her. She blinked.

"You? Didn't I just...how did you get here before me?"

"Why, I rushed here to welcome home my dear mother, of course!" Linking his arm with hers, Lord Patrick guided her down the side of the street.

"Then...why are you leading me away from my home's front door?"

"Of course because I want to treat you, my honoured mother, to a sumptuous meal! Why don't you do me the honour of accompanying me for a while? I know this amazing restaurant on the other side of town..."

The Dowager Duchess's heart warmed. He had especially come to treat her? She had a loving, filial son after all! She hesitated for a moment—then shook her head.

"My apologies, son, but I have been travelling most of the day to reach London and am a bit tired. I would prefer to freshen up first, and—"

"Oh, you can do that at the restaurant! There's a luxury hotel right next to it. My treat! And..." Pain flickered over Lord Patrick's face as he scraped together the courage to make the ultimate sacrifice. "...and I'll tell you a few things about the, ehem...lovely young lady I've been spending time with."

Lady Henrietta's head jerked around to face him. "Is that so?" A beaming smile spread over her face. Stepping closer, she tightened her grip on his arm, cutting off any possibility of escape. "Well, then, lead the way."

Meanwhile, not far away...

"This," Karim said, marching out of the back door with three giggling baggages under each arm, "was not part of our agreement."

"If you want to complain, do it after the house is bloody empty!" Angeline hissed, racing past him, carrying one excited rugrat on each shoulder. "Out of the way, out of the way!"

"Three more comin' through! Open da coach door!"

Three children sailed through the air and, with a soft thud and a delighted squeak, landed on the plush seats of the coach. Instantly, they started clambering about and around, exploring their new kingdom.

"'ow many left?"

"How the heck should I know? You drop a dozen new ones on my doorstep every other day!"

"Ye're exxageratin'." Amy sent Angeline a grin. "We don't do it more often dan every three days, at most."

"I'm going to strangle you later, do you know that?"

"Aye, I love ye, too, Angeline."

"Argh! You...just move your butt!"

And Amy did. Soon, her legs hurt, and she was huffing and puffing.

"Blimey!" she panted. "I knew why...I picked a job...dat's mainly lying on yer back all day!"

"Woman!" came a growl from the direction of her favorite walking beard. "Do not speak such words in my presence!"

"What words?" Amy enquired, batting her eyelashes in passing.

"I, um...well...the ones that..." Whirling around, Karim harrumphed. "I have work to do. I do not have time for such foolishness."

Then he rushed into the house to snatch more children.

Meanwhile, Lord Patrick Day's coachman was watching the whole scene with an interesting expression on his face. Amy watched with interest as it morphed from shock to disbelief to horror at what had been going on in the residence of his master's unmarried younger sister. By the time the thirty-third child had been carried out of the backdoor, the poor man looked about ready to faint.