My Brother Was First My Boyfriend And Later My Husband

Chapter 4

Translator: PastTimer

Editor: PastTimer
________

It wasn't painful, Gu Yan fulfilled his promise, but it was too intense. I couldn't stand it.

Tears could be caused by a physiological reaction, they could also be because of despair.

I never did anything bad, why should it be me who encounters these things?

During those two months of winter vacation, I was violated by Gu Yan twelve times. Every time was the same, he came in unimpeded and left after venting.

I had gradually gotten used to his behaviour and even opened one eye and closed the other¹ whenever he took pictures of my shame.

Humans could also be domesticated.

I was now even able to feel pleasure in this kind of desecration, a conditioned reflex.

Over time, I worried that I would eventually become Gu Yan's slave.

Finally, the hell of winter vacation ended. I advanced into my second year of high school and had my schoolwork to keep me busy.

In my first year of high school, my mother handled the school transferring processes for me. The private school I was now studying in was elite, and the annual enrollment rate was incredible.

Gu Yan was originally a student there.

On the pretext of studying hard, I requested to be placed in a student dormitory.

In fact, I just didn't want to stay in the Gu's house. That room never failed to remind me of Gu Yan's cruel brutality.

I would never tell my mother what happened because I knew what she would choose between me and Gu Yan. If I told her, it would only lead to a more tragic situation, so I choose to just deceive myself.

Gu Yan didn't know how to be subtle and just did what he willed. Most probably, everyone in the Gu Manor was already aware of our relationship.

My mother's mind was simpler than most people's, but she knew what to ignore.²

And I knew in my heart what that meant.

After starting to live on campus I started to have difficulties. The students of Bo Xing were either upper-middle class or upper class. My temperant of being from a small poor family meant I couldn't blend in with the rest of them.

I didn't want to be too involved with the Gu family, so I never mentioned my stepfather's name at school.

In my original school, my grades were quite good, but here, it wasn't much. Especially when it came to English, the beautiful pronunciation of the students around me made me unable to lift my head.

Fortunately, I had no plans in studying overseas. I just wanted to graduate peacefully and get admitted into a good domestic college.

Birds of a feather, stick together. My differences were soon discovered by the other students. I didn't know what brands they were talking about and I couldn't express my opinions about concerts or art exhibitions...

I started to be isolated, not bullied, just isolated.

The students here were well-bred and wouldn't be willing to do rude things that made them look cheap and ignorant.

I was kind but introverted, and I couldn't maintain social interactions. They didn't think it was too damning.

I thought I could spend this school year without any storms but something happened in the middle.

During the monthly exam, I had accidentally entered the top ten in the student ranking of our grade level, my total score exceeded the homeroom monitor by ten points.

Blind cats could occasionally catch dead mice,³ I had just happened to have reviewed similar scenarios in the learning aids for some of the more complex problems in the math subject.

The homeroom monitor had always been the first in our class, his father was said to have been a high-ranking minister. He was a typical arrogant son of heaven⁴ that had high self-esteem.

He was cheerful and generous and he had a lot of friends at school. He didn't need to come forward in person, so it was his friends that confronted me about cheating.

The grade director knew about my relationship with the Gu family and called my mother with a look of embarrassment. I just stood quietly in the office, staring at the grey sky outside the window.

I had already denied it and there was also video surveillance in the classroom, I didn't have to shout to prove my innocence.

I had always been well-behaved in school and kept to myself. I had never before been invited to the office or had my parents called to come over. This first-time experience was so ugly, I didn't want to know what my mother's expression would be like when she came in.

However, unlike what I expected, the person who came in was not my mother, but Gu Yan.

_____

Notes:

1- Partially ignoring the situation or actions of other people. Or pretending to be unaware of their actions while keeping them in check.
2- Goggle translated this as: 'she knew to behave unaware'. In its expanded form it's: 'she knew how to behave as if she was unaware of it.
3- Sometimes one encounters something good or has something good happen to them within their goals with minimum effort.
4- Referring to (most of the time) young men who had good life circumstances with seemingly no setbacks or problems waiting for them in the future. Or unusually successful people.