My Brother Was First My Boyfriend And Later My Husband

Chapter 23

Translator: PastTimer

Editor: PastTimer
_________

"I'll accompany you," Gu Yan stroked my hair tenderly, laying down in bed with me.

I saw the wound on his arm and couldn't help but stick out my tongue to gently lick the bloody ring of teeth marks.

I didn't feel sorry at all; this was pain that Gu Yan owed me. He was too bad and deserved to be bitten.

But I still worried about him.

If you think about it, he didn't seem so bad.

I couldn't tell how I felt about him. I only knew that if I were to be homeless one day, probably only Gu Yan would take me in.

I wasn't a strong or independent person, but that didn't matter, as I could always pretend to be.

Maybe this was a habit of mine, not forgetting anyone who's ever done anything good to me.

Even though, my feelings completely changed after seeing Gu Yan masturbate.

I couldn't bring myself to understand myself. I believed that most people were like that, so I can only obey the desire and instinct in my heart.

It was the easiest way to live.

I wanted Gu Yan to love me, and I also wanted to love him.

It's a good idea.

I cuddled with Gu Yan on the bed, vividly remembering the madness last night that almost reached ridiculous proportions. I felt very tired now; my waist felt broken, I just wanted to lay down and not move at all.

Gu Yan easily embraced me with his long arms, and I was willingly locked within them.

We didn't talk much, just stayed together in silence, like two voles warmings each other up.

After a long time, I heard Gu Yan say: "Duan He, thank you."

"Thanking me for?" I asked inquisitively.

"For letting me continue to love you," he said.

I liked hearing him say that and smiled, "You're welcome."

Gu Yan kissed my hair and told me again, sorry.

Then he immediately said, "But when I saw you for the first time, I wanted to possess you."

My breath stopped for a second and my heartbeat furiously.

Gu Yan finally wanted to open up to me and be honest, on all the goods and evils.

"I watched you walk into the mansion with your mother from the second floor. Your eyes were guarded and timid, like a gazelle on the grasslands that accidentally broke into a lion's den. You looked so cute and weak; like you're suitable for being occupied by others."

I glanced at him and wanted to refute, I'm not a gazelle.

Gu Yan kissed the tip of my nose and continued:

"Later, I did just that. But I couldn't get any joy from this figurative hunting," He looked deep into my eyes and whispered, "I watched you become more and more lonely day after day. I felt helpless, I was sad. At that time perhaps, I understood that I had feelings other than possession towards you. I wanted you to be happy..."

I didn't expect that Gu Yan would tell me this. Reading between the lines, it was enough for me to draw out his journey.

He had so much pride, I wanted to at least maintain his dignity.

I took the initiative to kiss him and stared into his eyes, smiling. But I didn't speak.

Gu Yan had always been mature and strong in front of everyone. It was easy to forget that he was only 20 years old.

He made me suffer and I did. He also did.

I still didn't plan to forgive what he had done, but I agreed to let him love me.

I hoped someone loves me.

I hoped Gu Yan loves me.

We laid in bed until it was past ten o'clock. I got hungry and wanted to eat the roast chicken served in the cafeteria.

Gu Yan helped me get dressed and took me to school.

Even though it stopped snowing sometime last night, it had still piled up on the ground to form a thick layer. The wind still blew and the weather stayed cold. I put my hand inside Gu Yan's pocket and gently scratched his fingertips with my nails.

Normally, I rarely expressed intimacy towards a person like this, even with my mother I had never been so clingy after developing my senses.

I used to worry that she would think I was childish and find me annoying.

But somehow, I believed that Gu Yan would tolerate everything about me and like me acting spoiled towards him.

____

Notes: