Strength - DeanxReader

Chapter 30 : Like Real People

ABOUT TWO WEEKS LATER

"No, dumbass, that's not what I'm saying!" You laughed, twirling a butter knife in your hand as you sat at a restaurant somewhere in London. "If a zombie apocalypse were to happen, having a sustainable mode of transportation would be BETTER than a weapon!"

"Kid, I have to disagree." The man across from you chuckled, picking up his shades and placing them on his face. "But, who knows, there's only one way to really find out."

"There's definitely more than one way Luci." You smiled and rolled your eyes, relishing in the moment.

For two weeks, you and your somewhat step father, Lucifer, had been traveling the work, going pretty much anywhere but Kansas and Virginia. The Winchesters stayed off your mind, not because you forgot them but because it was just a little less painful for you to force them out of your head than it was to let them live there rent free.

In that split second of silence between you and Lucifer, your mind wandered back to those three men. Like the cold London wind, it smacked you out of nowhere, almost throwing you off balance with its rigid touch.

You heard their voices. You always did. Ever since you had left them at the bunker, albeit only 14 days ago, they prayed to you religiously (and that's saying something). Cas knew how to get to you easiest and even learned ways to work around your mental blocks that tried so hard to keep him out. He was unnecessarily apologetic, and often nostalgic. He would remind you of your days in Amsterdam together, the "calm" days. When Sam would reach out to you, he was pleading, begging for some sort of message that you were okay. There weren't many times that you didn't find this pestering, but you tried not to think about it.

And then there was Dean. Dean Winchester had always been an enigma to you, but over the weeks you had been apart, the puzzle that he was still hadn't been solved. Dean didn't pray to you in the consistency or in the same way that Sam and Castiel did; Dean sang to you. His voice rang through your head every now and then, not often enough for you to resent him but just often enough to catch you off guard every time. He always sang you love songs, some from modern day, some from the golden ages of rock and roll, but of the 4 songs he had sung, none had been about anything but love. Today, he was singing his fifth.

"(Y/n)?" Lucifer said, breaking you out your Winchester-Trance. "Is it them again?"

You sighed. "It's Dean." Now it was Lucifers time to roll his eyes. "Hey, I'm trying to block them out, okay? It's just..."

"Hey, it's okay. You don't have to explain yourself to me." He paused, and it made you a little worried. "Look, I've been thinking—"

"Wow, you do that?" You scoffed playfully. When you met his eyes, you realized maybe now was not the time for that. "Sorry. Continue."

"As I was saying, things in hell are a little bit... messy right now. So, I was thinking I would pop back down there and sort management out and you could come with me."

You stared at him with a semi blank look that was quickly taken over by confusion.

"Luci, I'm flattered, but I can't go down there. Purgatory was traumatizing enough and you're talking about Hell? I.. I can't.. it's not.." your breathing started to speed up, the knife dropping to the floor with a loud clang as your hands clutched at your chest. Flashes of those fights came flooding back into your head. You hadn't thought about that pain in so long that when you started to relive those memories, a panic attack started to set in.

"Okay okay, breathe, it's okay (Y/n/n)." Lucifer comforted you as best as he knew how.

He grabbed your shoulder and suddenly you were both back in Virginia for the first time in a while. Why he brought you back there, you'll never know, but eventually you managed to get your heartbeat back under control and your head in a better place than before.