Strength - DeanxReader

Chapter 31 : The Past

You and Dean Winchester stood six feet apart. An uncomfortable distance, but any closer would've been... overwhelming.

"What are you doing here?" He asked, stoic in his expression.

"I, uh, I wanted to see you." Your mouth twitched into a smile before you jutted out your hands. "I thought it would be funny if I picked you flowers but now I'm thinking maybe it's not the time."

"Yeah. Maybe." Dean frowned, crossing his arms tightly over his chest as he looked you up and down. "What's going on, (Y/N)?"

You looked at him and the flowers slightly crumpled under your tightened grip. In honesty, you didn't expect him to just welcome you with open arms, but you didn't like the energy he was giving off. Maybe you would have to change your tactic.

"Look. I think you, Sam and Cas were being a little unreasonable. I left, I managed to keep Lucifer from wreaking unnecessary havoc, I contacted you. I've been on my best behavior and you're still upset? It's just— something about that doesn't click for me."

"You left me for Lucifer, (Y/n)." He lamented.

"I left all three of you for someone who didn't judge me. Stop acting like this is something I did just to hurt you."

Dean rolled his eyes. "You're acting like a brat." He faced you, now placing his hands on his hips as you scoffed at him.

"You don't want to see me bratty." You glared at him and tossed the flowers to the floor. You stepped on them as you walked closer to him, but he stepped back. "Seriously, Dean? Still?"

The man opened his mouth to speak but he couldn't find the words. You just stood there in painful silence as you tried to figure out what to do next.

"I'm done with the soft-nice (y/n). I tried it with you and obviously that's not getting me anywhere, so what the FUCK Dean?" Now, you were mad.

"Oh, so-rry you had to put on a nice persona for me. Must've been so painful." He taunted.

"By all means, tell me what you're really thinking," you said, "Before I make you."

"You wouldn't." He smirked.

You rolled your eyes and raised a hand, tilting your fingers upwards as Deans eyes slowly started to widen before he began to speak.

"I want to forgive you but you're actions are so impulsive and childish. It makes me just want to smack the Lucifer-influence out of you."

His hand flew to his mouth as soon as you let your grip on him slack.

"Son of a bitch." Dean muttered.

"Daughter, last time I checked." You sounded unimpressed. If what you want is a fight, let's go." You said, peeling off your sweater in one fluid motion, revealing a white tank top underneath.

"I'm not going to fight you."

"Then you're gonna get hurt." You said, balling up your fists.

You lunged at him, arms high enough to aim for his face as he realized you were actually serious. Just before you hit him, he managed to catch your arm and parried you to the side. Just as planned, you kicked your leg out at the last moment and brought him down to the ground.

"(Y/N), stop this!" He said, scrambling to his knees.

"Not until you start telling me the truth." You kicked him down again, but he finally started to find the fight in him. He grabbed your arm and pulled you down to the floor with him. Now with both your your wrists under one of his hands, he kneeled between your legs and tried to keep you pinned down.

"Well, this is an new position." You smirked. Dean barely had time to process your words before you flipped him onto his back. Now you were the one straddling him, both of his hands held captive by yours and pressed into the floor.

"This isn't." He glared up at you. You let out a low chuckle before you felt him relax under your touch.

This caught you off guard. He had completely stopped his resistance against you and instead just stared up at you with a look you were far too familiar with.

"Stop it."

"(Y/n)."

"No, stop it!" You quickly got off of him and distanced yourself, walking backwards and nearing the edge of the cliff. "I don't need your pity, Winchester, so stop looking at me like that!"

"Okay, okay, just step forward, okay?" His voice turned low and careful as he raised his hands. Your expression turned confused, but then you looked back at the cliff edge you were standing on and understood.

"Seriously Dean? That's what you're worried about? Have you forgotten I can fly, that I can annihilate cities with a few drops of energy? Or do you just think I'm too broken and fragile to make my own decisions?"

"I don't think that, I just want to help." He pleaded, a rough edge to his voice.

"When I come to you for help, I don't get it. When I don't want it, all you do is offer help!" You yelled. "Everything is fucked up! We don't know how to operate together. Not anymore." Your voice turned confident, but softer than before.

"Things got complicated." He offered.

You nodded at the sudden agreement that fell between you two. You turned away from him and sunk down onto the grassy ledge, staring off into the field.

Before long, you felt Deans presence appear besides you. He sat next to you, your legs barely brushing up against each other as followed your line of sight.

"You know, Lucifer and I fought about me coming to see you. He just kind of... left... after we came to a stalemate." You murmured, face twisting in thought. "He thought I was holding on to the past too much."

"And what do you think?"

You sighed. "In some way, he's always right. I have this fantasy in my head of everything going back to the way it was when I just hunted things and lived in motels. But now I know that's not possible and that I have to find a new way of life if I plan on living."

"You're not the only one living in the past. Like I said, things got complicated. I fell in love with a complicated girl and tried to make her simple because that's what I've always wanted; a simple life." Dean told you. Your heart sank a little when you thought you realized what he meant. You weren't good for him. You weren't what he wanted.

And then he took your hand and faced you.

"But I don't want that anymore. I just want you to be happy, and I just want to be happy with you."

You couldn't bring yourself to face him or to squeeze his hand. Your thoughts were racing with questions of his intentions, how you needed to answer him, and what this meant to you.

"We've been dysfunctional for so long." You said, voice almost cracking.

"But not forever," he told you, "Which means we can be okay."

"I am done crying over you, Dean. I don't want to live the rest of whatever life I have going back and forth with you."

"So don't." He pleaded, squeezing your hand a little bit tighter. "Come back home. You can set up whatever rules you want with Sam, Cas, and I, and if you and I fight, I promise that I will help work through it."

You finally turned to face him.

"I promise that no matter what, I'm going to love you because after all this time, I still do." Dean smiled softly.

"I want to come back." You said. Dean breathed out in joy as you nodded your head. He gathered you up into his arms like the world was ending and you embraced him like it was. Your mind was finally easing into a state of piece as you worked past your history and began to embrace who you where, what you were, and who you wanted to be.

Now, it's time to go home.