M.G.G/S.R Oneshots

Drowning (m.g.g)

matthew gray gubler x reader
summary: matthew slowly starts to realize reader's change
warnings: angst, depression, language, fluff
a/n: can you guys let me know what you think of the book so far? but please be kind, i'm sensitive💀 and thank you for 2k reads!
and this is no way trying to romanticize depression! it's just how i've been feeling currently, and i thought that you guys could maybe relate too.

two years.

two years is how long Matthew and Y/n had been together, and they were the best two years of their lives.

on Valentine's Day of the second year, Matthew had proposed to the (h/c) haired girl.

Matthew and Y/n were cozied up on the couch, deciding they wanted to stay in this year for Valentine's Day. old horror movies played in the background, as the happy couple talked about everything and anything.

Matthew watched his girlfriend talk passionately about the movie that was playing on the screen. Scream, which was one of her favorites, had just begun.

Matthew realized that it was time.

"Y/n? can you go get me a blanket, please?" Matthew begged.

Y/n playfully rolled her eyes.

"why? you can't get it yourself?" Y/n teased.

Matthew laughed, watching as Y/n sat up from off his chest and stood up.

"thank you, baby." Matthew smiled, watching the (h/c) haired girl disappear into the bedroom.

Matthew shot up off of the gray couch, digging into his pocket for the blue velvet box.

he got down on one knee, waiting nervously for his girlfriend to reappear.

"i didn't know if you wanted a fluffy one or a knitted one so i brought bot-" Y/n looked down, seeing her boyfriend on his knee.

Y/n let out a gasp, dropping the blankets from her hands as she covered her mouth.

"Y/n.. will you marry me?" Matthew asked.

"yes! yes, you big goof!" Y/n grinned, feeling a tear slip down her cheek.

Matthew stood up happily, placing the diamond on her finger. the two kissed passionately, embracing each other lovingly.

that was four months ago.

Matthew started to notice the change in Y/n's behavior. her beautiful (e/c) eyes had slowly started to lose their shine, and noticed how she got more tired. even if she got a full nights rest, she was completely exhausted the next day.

now, Matthew wasn't stupid.

he had started to notice it more in photos.

when he was scrolling through the recent photos of you two, he zoomed in on the photo and saw how sad your eyes looked. that smile was definitely real, but deep inside it wasn't.

he noticed how she barely wanted to eat anymore, or on some days all she ever wanted to do was eat.

Matthew decided to finally talk to her about it.

"Y/n?" Matthew asked, walking into the bedroom.

Y/n laid in the bed, an oversized hoodie on while the hood sat on top of her messy hair. she laid on her stomach, scrolling through her social media.

"what's up, babe?" Y/n asked, turning to lay on her back.

"can you, can you be honest with me?" Matthew asked, laying down onto the king sized bed.

Y/n furrowed her brows.

"sure?" she answered confused.

"what's been going on in that pretty head of yours?" the tall man asked.

Y/n sat up, her hair falling in front of her face as she pushed it back.

"what do you mean?" she asked.

"bub.. i just want you to talk to me. please." he softly pleaded, his left hand coming down to Y/n's lower back as he softly rubbed circles on it.

Y/n's eyes widened.

"so you've noticed?" Y/n mumbled.

"i have." her fiancé nodded.

Y/n exhaled a deep breath.

"i don't know, i guess. some days all i want to do is cry, and others all i want to do is sleep. and i'm scared, bubba. i don't want to fall back into depression," Y/n's voice cracked, as Matthew brought his other hand up to wipe away her tears. her lip quivered as she tried to fight back some of her tears.

"i just.. i just feel like i'm drowning and i have no clue what to do." Y/n sobbed.

Matthew's heart ached for his partner. the girl who always seemed so happy, who loved to make others laugh, cry before him about how sad she was.

he hated himself for not noticing sooner.

"it feels like i'm stuck. i'm stuck in a constant emotion of sadness, or sometimes i don't feel anything at all. i just feel numb."

"baby.. why didn't you talk to me sooner?" Matthew asked, looking up at his fiancé's tired face.

"i didn't want to worry you." Y/n cried.

Matthew softly guided Y/n to his chest. she sobbed into his clothed body, as his arms wrapped around her.

"Y/n.. you mean so much to me. it worried me more that i didn't know what was happening. i love you so much, and i have no idea what i would do if you weren't here." his voice was soft as he spoke.

"i promise you, Y/n. we're going to get through this together, alright?"