imagines ~ cb

" i might love you "

<based on my person experience>
⚠️TRIGGER WARNING⚠️ SUICIDAL THOUGHTS AND SELF HARM⚠️

i was in my bedroom messaging on of my guy friends. we had messaged each other for months now and i guess you could say i have developed feelings for him. i have told him a lot about myself. the things i have gone through and going to him for advice on what to do. i really trusted him until one day. his name is jay by the way (not in irl btw)

J: hey how's it going ?
Y: going pretty well how about yourself?
J: pretty good actually
Y: that's great to hear
J: can i tell you something?
Y: you can tell me anything
J: well i think i might love you
J: shit i didn't mean to say that
Y: thats ok dont worry

"fuuuuuck he's such a diiick" i yell in my bedroom. when i feel as though my life is going well it all comes crashing down. i was going to confess how i felt about him tonight but i guess that doesn't matter anyways.

MONTHS LATER
i have fallen back into my bad habits again. the bad habits that jay would help me out of and get me back on my feet. my mental heath has plummeted. i relapsed. i never thought that would happen again but here we are. crying on the bathroom floor with my arms bleeding. bleeding a waterfall. i wish i could die already. my life is already as bad as it is and its never going to get better again. im in a loop that i am never going to get out of. maybe if i love that loop it will leave me too.

COLBYS POV
i had been texting y/n all day today and she had stopped abruptly. i wonder why? i gave her a little time. maybe she went to go and take a shower and forgot to tell me. we have been talking to each other a lot and i have developed feelings for her. she told me about jay and i agreed with her. he is a dick and im glad that he left because she doesn't deserve that. she deserves someone that will love her with their whole heart and mean it. and i am that person. i cant go a second without her.

C: hey where did you go?
C: y/n
C: you there
C: im gone come over im worried
C: im outside i will be with you soon
C: unless you left to go somewhere

i unlocked her apartment door with the spare key she gave me and entered. it was spookily silent. her apartment has never been this silent before and it creeped me out. "y/n" i called out. no response. i walked around her place and when i got to the bathroom i could hear faint cries. i know in the past she has been suicidal and i telly hope she hasn't done anything to herself.

"y/n" i said softly and knocking on the bathroom door.
"yeah" she whimpered out.
"open the door please" i pleaded
"i dont want you to see me like this"
"i dont care i know what you have done and i just want to make sure you are ok"

i heard the sound of the door unlocking but she didnt open it. so i did. i opened the door slowly and saw her there. laying on the floor with blood on the floor and all over herself. it broke my heart to see her this way. i brought her into me and wrapped myself around her. she was stone cold. she cried into my shoulder and i rubbed her back as she did so. i had no cares in the world that my clothes were going to get blood or tears in them. i was just glad that i came in at the right time and saved her.

<648 words>
please, if you are ever feeling suicidal or are struggling, please ask for help. there are people out there that love you and it might not feel like it but they do. i love you