One Week Away

Chapter 19

A week of routine has passed by. Mitchell and I are in the car heading to this week's counseling appointment. His hand is on mine and I offer him a small smile. Confusion is still swirling in my mind. I try to clear my thoughts and get ready for this week's appointment but nothing could have prepared me for what happened tonight.

"Welcome back Mr & Mrs. Jones. Please have a seat." She goes through the pleasantries and asks us about our intimacy and things we are improving on and things that still need improvement before she goes into her "lesson plan" for this week.

"This week's session is about being honest with your partner. Sometimes we lie to protect our partners feelings and sometimes we lie to protect our own. In today's session I want you to come clean about something you are afraid to tell your partner." I can feel my heart start pounding rapidly. Was I really going to reveal my deepest secret in this week's therapy session? "Mitchell, let's start with you. What is something you have been afraid to tell Adrianna?"

His eyes widen and he pauses for a few moments before clearing his throat. "Well... Sometimes I wonder if we are still in love with each other like we used to be. It often feels like we are roommates sharing a house and a bed but not a life. We were so young when we got together that sometimes it feels like growing up made us grow apart."

His words hit straight to my soul. I couldn't agree more with him. "Adrianna what are your thoughts on that?"

"Mitchell I agree with you 100 percent. I feel this way all of the time. That is why I wanted to go to therapy to see if we could repair this." He smiles as the counselor turns her attention to me "Good start. We will circle back around to that after Adrianna's turn." She turns to me and my stomach drops.

I take a deep breath trying to steady my shaking hands. I knew if I paused too long I wouldn't have the courage to say it so I just blurted it out "I had an affair!"

The room falls silent as my tears slowly start to roll down my face.

"You did what?" Mitchell replies with an angry tone.

"I had an affair." I replied sheepishly.

"Yeah I got that Adrianna. What were you thinking?"

"I don't know. I wasn't thinking. We hadn't had sex in over a year and when I tried to talk to you about it you shut me down. You are at work all of the time and I have been so lonely with no one to turn to. I didn't mean for it to happen. It just sort of did." I breathed out as the tears started falling harder.

"I didn't have sex for a year either and I didn't have an affair. Christ Adrianna. Were you ever going to tell me?"

"Yes, I was just waiting for the right time."

"The right time? The right time would've been the moment it happened so we could work through this but you wait until now. Four weeks into therapy. And the counselor had to practically force it out of you. If it wasn't for this week's honesty session I don't think I would have ever known."

"Mitchell I.... That's not true." I say squeezing out the words.

"Who was it? When was it? How long Adrianna? Damnit we had sex last week. Were you with him after that?"

"What? No. I haven't been with him in months."

"How long did it last?

"Only a few weeks."

"Who was it?"

"Mitchell."

"Damnit what is his name Adrianna?"

"Mitchell it's not important."

"Yes it is. It is to me."

A few moments passed before I decided I owed my husband the truth. "It was Christian" I whispered.

"WHAT?????? We let that man into our home. Were you fucking him this whole time? All of these years you two have been working closely together. I bet it was some big joke between the two of you going behind my back."

"Mitchell no. It is not what you think. We didn't sleep together until.."

"That fucking trip. I knew I shouldn't have let you share that room with him. He just couldn't keep his hands to himself could he? He finally got you alone in a hotel room and just couldn't fucking resist."

"It wasn't like that."

"Really then tell me what it was like because I would really like to know."

I pause.

"Arianna I am waiting."

"I... It's just that.... We were talking about you and me and how we were drifting apart and how I was lonely and he was there for me. It didn't happen right away. We had spent the week together and it happened a couple of days before we left to come home. I didn't think it would continue when we got home but it did."

Mitchell sits and runs his hand through his hair. "So what made you stop? You could've just kept going. Not like I was going to find out about it anyways. Seems like you are good at keeping secrets. Why end it? You two see each other every day. The feeling has to still be there."

"What?"

"Answer the question Adrianna. Why did you two stop?"

Tears were reforming in my eyes "I.. He.. Christian didn't want me to have to keep a secret. He said he was ruining my life."

"Well it's not just your life Adrianna. I am a part of that too."

"I know. I'm sorry. I never meant for it to happen."

Mitchell sighed and the room was silent for many minutes as we both sat and processed our own emotions..

After calming down Mitchell finally broke the silence. "I'm sorry Adrianna. I'm sorry that I didn't make you my top priority and that you felt that you had to go to someone else to find the love that I should have been giving you. Somewhere along the lines our love slowly started to die out and I am sorry for that. I don't know if we can repair this but I think we have a lot to discuss alone. Just the two of us."

I look up at him with teary eyes not believing my ears. "No Mitchell I am the one who should be apologizing. I am sorry for doing this to you. To us."

In a weird way at this moment I feel free. This huge weight has been lifted from my chest and I can breathe a little easier. The truth really does set you free. No matter the outcome I feel better knowing it is all out on the table.

The counselor "Well unfortunately our time is up. I think you two have a lot of things to figure out. I will see you back here next week."

"Please cancel our future appointments. We have a lot to discuss. If we decide to work this out we will reschedule. Thank you for all of your help." Mitchell tells her.

We get in the car and head home. Mitchell is quiet and I give him the space he needs to process what I told him.