In Too Deep Season Two: Far From Home

Part 2: Running on Empty

My eyes open and it's night. Did I really sleep all day? No one found me? Something feels off.

I stand up and look out in the yard. My heart starts racing and my body begins to move on it's own. Fire is spreading from building to building, and bodies are laying in the yard.

I pull out my pistol and begin to rush into the yard. The gate was busted open, the watch tower is on fire, and walkers are beginning to appear.

I get to the center of the yard and look for any survivors. The yard is surrounded now with walkers coming out of the woods and the building. How is this happening?

The dead bodies left from the fighting begin to rise already, so I start to take them out without thinking. I stab the closest one, and begin to gut it so I can blend in.

Once I finish, I start to hear whispers throughout the yard. People calling my name, begging for my help.

"Y/N.....why?"

I look down at the body I just gutted, and realize what I've just done. Tears begin to flow and I start to panic.

"No no no no! This can't be happening! What-what's going on? That wasn't you!"

Clementine coughs up some blood and tears begin to flow down her checks. I try to wipe them away, but she swipes my hand away.

"I can't believe you. We all looked up to you, and this is how we get repaid? Just like Tenn?"

"No! This isn't like that! You weren't....this isn't-"

"Everyone around is dying, because you didn't prepare us. Why didn't you do something before-before it was too late!"

I look around and I hear the screams of my family. Walkers are mere feet away from me and Clem. We're going to die.

"Just get out of here. You'll be fine remember? Even after our death, you found some use for us huh?"

Clem starts to scream and yell for the walkers to grab her, and pushes me away. I stand up and watch them walk past. I try to turn away, but I can't leave her. I try to get back to her, but a small walker steps in front of me. Tenn....

"One more death shouldn't be a problem right? You watched me, so why not her?"

"No Tenn, make it stop. Fuck, please god make this fucking stop!"

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My cry for help is answered. A hand touches my shoulder gently, and my eyes open to the sight of Clem. I sit back up and grab her with the intention of never letting go.

I look around franticly to make sure everything is normal. No fires, no dead bodies, just me and my girl.

Clem gently strokes the back of my head and plays with my hair. She stays silent, but knows it wasn't good. Most nights are spent like this at some point. I go to sleep, a nightmare wakes me, and Clem comforts me.

"Aasim and the others came back asking where you were. Everyone realized we never saw you and got worried."

"I just wanted to rest, but I regret it now."

She shakes her head in agreement. "What happen this time?"

I shake my head and start to get upset with remembering it. "It was awful. The school was on fire, everyone was hurt, walkers got in, and I couldn't do anything."

She pulls away and looks at me. "What else happen?"

I look shocked at her comment, and turn my glaze to the ground. "I killed a walker and gutted it to hide my scent, but.....it turned out to be you."

Clem stops stroking my head and holds her hand in place. "I begged for forgiveness and tried to save you, but you shoved me away. Then...."

Clem finally pulls away from me and looks stunned. "Jesus Y/N, what the hell?! Why do you keep doing this to yourself?"

"It's not like I want to Clem. Maybe I feel it's what I deserve. Maybe I'm scared of it happening. Me failing you and everyone like I did Tenn-"

"You didn't fail Tenn Y/N! That situation would have played out the same way no matter who was there."

I let out a sigh and wonder if she's right. If that's true, then are we all to blame? Did we all set Tenn up to fail?

Clem grabs my hand and places it on her cheek. "Look at me babe. We need to stick together and fix this okay. You need to stay in the walls until we fix this okay?"

I shrug my shoulders and look at her a little worried. "Are you sure that's a good idea? What if they need my help?"

"If anyone is going to get any help, it's you babe. You need to help yourself before you can focus on us again, and we're all gonna help you get through this."

I nod my head and smile at Clem, who returns it back to me. I stand up on my feet, and pull her up to hers. She uses me as balance until I can pick up her crutches.

"Alright Clem, I'll stay inside, but I'm still gonna help around inside."

"I figured, but I am surprised by how quickly you agreed to it."

I look at Tenn's grave and think of my dream. Clem is worried about me, but so is everyone else. Louis and Aasim said the same thing to me outside the walls, so how many other people are worried?

"I just realized finally that it's something I need to fix. Just wish I realized it sooner, so thanks for helping me Clem."

She leans in and kisses me on the lips, and then we embrace. "Why don't you go ahead and relax by the fire? I'm gonna talk to everyone to see how their day went, and then I'll be over. Sound good?"

"Yeah Clem, sounds good."

I watch her walk off using her crutches. She's like that because I abandoned her. If I never hopped-

Knock it off! This is what you can't be doing anymore! Get it together Y/N. They need- no....they want you to get better and to be your old self.

I let out a frown and wonder if it's possible to recover. I have to try, they deserve that much.

Hopefully they know what to do, because I'm running out of ideas.