Running Out of Time (A Philip Hamilton Romance)

The Sin

Philip's POV

At some point, Amelia had fallen asleep on me. The house was dark for the most part, so I assumed Mother had put the younger ones to bed. Father had been sleeping at his office for days, so I was surprised to hear, "Philip! What do you think you're doing?!" Amelia jumped awake and we both stood up. "Father, I am so glad you're home! I have some exciting news," I smiled and took Amelia's hand, "Mother gave me permission to marry Amelia."

His face reddened, "I don't think so. I've already brought enough shame to this family. Do you know what would be said if my firstborn son married the orphaned governess?!"

By this point, my blood was boiling, "You think I don't know what you did to our name?! To our family?! What do you think Alex and I had to endure while we were away at King's? And Amelia! Not so long ago, she was accosted in town and what was her crime?! Being loyal to us!"

Father didn't like that, "Do not speak to your father that way!" He went to slap me, but missed and ended up slapping Amelia across the face instead. She had been silent up until then, she looked shocked. Tears welled in her eyes, but she didn't seem to be in pain. It was like her body was responding, but her mind wasn't.

"Father! How could you?" I stepped up to him. Amelia pushed me back and smiled weakly at me, "I'm fine," she curtsied to my father and I, "if you'll excuse me." She walked into the house and left us there to finish our fight.

Eventually, we both got tired of yelling and Father retired to the house. Once I went back into the house, I hurried to Amelia's room and knocked. "Ami? Are you still awake? Please, open the door," I heard shuffling behind the door before it opened. "Philip," she breathed my name and pulled me into the room.

I pulled her into my arms, "Are you alright?" I brushed my fingers against the spot she was hit. "Does it hurt?" She took my hand away from her face, "No, it just surprised me. I'd never seen your father raise a hand to anyone. Especially you."  I must have looked troubled because she laid her forehead against mine, "I'm okay, mon coeur." I looked at her, quizzically, "I don't think I know that one, love." She smiled, "Mon coeur, my heart."

Then, her smile dropped and she stepped away, "Philip... I've been thinking, maybe-maybe I should go back to France. The war is over... Monsieur LaFayette has somewhere I can stay... and your father made it very clear that all I am here is an employee..." I couldn't breathe, "I can't-I can't lose you again." I pulled her in my arms and clung to her. "If you're going back to France, then I'm going with you."

She shook her head, "Your home is here. Your future is here. Your family is here-" I stepped back and took her hand in both of mine, "Is it? My father just told me I couldn't marry the only woman I want to be with because she's an orphan that he took in to be a governess. A woman whose story isn't so different from his own. Mother will talk to him, if she hasn't already. We'll figure it out. If we need to go to France to be together, we will, but for now, let's wait on this conversation," I looked at her, earnestly, pleading for her to agree. She nodded.

I kissed her goodnight and went to my room. I couldn't sleep, all I thought about was how my father had acted and how because of it I could lose the one person I wanted most.

The next morning, I woke up before the rest of the house, even Amelia, which never happens. I decided to go into the parlor and play piano. After a little time, I heard someone come into the room behind me. I turned around to find a very drowsy Amelia dressed like the proper governess she is. "Good morning, Master Hamilton," she curtsied. I stood up and crossed the room to her, "No one is awake, yet. You don't need to act like my father's employee." She, sleepily, smiled up at me, "Then, good morning, mon coeur." She kissed my cheek, "I haven't heard you play in a long time."

I smiled at Amelia, my Ami, "Really I should be studying for my exams, but I needed a distraction." We didn't talk about what had happened with my father the night before. "I should go get ready to teach the little ones their morning lessons," she said. I kissed her hand before she went to prepare for the day.

I returned to my room to study, but my mind was distracted. So, I began to write; I hadn't written poetry in quite a while. As I wrote, I thought about what the pamphlet had done to our family. Why would Father do that to Mother? Why would he want everyone to know? I understood he was trying to protect us in his own way, but why that way?

Amelia's POV

Last night made me wonder if I was better off going back to France. Monsieur LaFayette had been writing me more often since the war had ended. He made sure I was still content with my life in America. He was really the only person I'd openly told that I loved Philip. I had told him years ago because I knew he would keep my secret.

I found my older letters from LaFayette from my first few years here for the children to practice reading French. I spent the rest of the day with Mrs. Hamilton and the younger children. Mr. Hamilton went to his office early before breakfast. Philip and Alex left for class right after breakfast. Angelica was meeting some friends to go shopping.

"Amelia, Philip told me what happened last night. Are you sure you are alright?" Mrs. Hamilton asked me, suddenly. I straightened up from helping John with his French. "Yes, Ma'am," I replied, not being too specific so as not to scare the children. "I've already spoken with Alexander. I'm hoping he will change his mind soon. He started out life in a similar way, after all," she smiled, sadly, at me. "I understand his concerns, Ma'am," I responded, despondently.

She sat down and I sat, as well, "I just want you to know that I would be honored to have you marry Philip." She gave my hand a squeeze and returned to little Eliza. I continued teaching the younger boys until Philip and Alex came home for dinner. Angelica arrived home soon after. After dinner, Mrs. Hamilton took Philip aside.

When he came back, he asked me to go for a walk with him in the city. Somehow we ended up at the dress shop, "Philip, why are we here?" He smiled, "Mother told me to get you a nice dress. One that wasn't grey. For our wedding."

I tried on a few dresses and decided on a green dress with lace. I forgot how much I liked wearing green. "You look perfect," he held my hand to his heart. We purchased my dress and continued around the city. "Did the fight with your father make things between your parents worse?" I worried. Philip looked at our feet while we walked, "I think it may have. Honestly, I doubt that Father will be home for a little while now." He stopped and put his hands on my shoulders, "Don't blame yourself. You did nothing wrong. Our only sin is falling in love."