Running Out of Time (A Philip Hamilton Romance)

Goodbye Love

Amelia's POV

He looked at me. And then he dropped. I heard someone screaming, then realized it was me. And I was running. I didn't know I was running until I was almost beside him.

"Amelia! Stop!" I could hear Adam yelling at me as I passed him, but I had to get to Philip.

When I reached him, I pulled his head into my lap, "Non! Non, regarde-moi! Philippe!" (No! No, look at me! Philip!)

He smiled up at me, "You always slip back into French when you're upset." He reached up and wiped tears off my cheeks. I didn't even know I was crying until then. As he was reaching up, he winced in pain.

I held his hand against my cheek. I noticed the doctor had arrived beside me. He began putting pressure on the wound.

"We need to get him back to my office!" He shouted at Philip's friends to pick him up and move him to the boat. As they picked Philip up, Adam pulled me away.

"Laisse moi partir! Je ne le quitte pas!" (Let me go! I'm not leaving him!) I shouted at Adam.

Adam forced me to look at him, "Go to the boat," he stated calmly, "we're bringing him. Wait for him in the boat."

I couldn't speak, I could hardly breathe. All I could do was nod and ran to the boat. They laid Philip down in the boat with his head in my lap.

I was sobbing, "Phi-Philip, plea-plea-please don't go."

His green eyes looked pained, but he smiled, weakly, "I'm right here, silly girl."

I ran my fingers through his hair. I just wanted to hold him and never let go.

He reached up and caressed my face, "Kiss me, Ami." His voice was weak and it cracked. I leaned down and kissed him, tenderly, as my tears dripped onto his face.

As I pulled back, I began scanning his face trying to get every detail in my memory. Every freckles, the color of his eyes, the shape of his mouth.

He started playing with a piece of my hair that had fallen down by his face. "I've always loved your hair. The first time I saw you, I wanted to touch it. It was different, not quite red and not quite brown. And your one freckle under your right eye," he whispered as he poked the spot on my face, "You only have one. I always thought it was cute." He looked very serious for a moment, "I could hear you, you know? Counting? It was nice to hear your voice."

The sun was rising higher in the sky as we arrived back in New York.

Philip's POV

I was lying in the doctor's office for quite a while. Amelia was holding my hand. At some point, she had cried herself to sleep with her head against the table.

God, this hurts. Amelia, I hope you forgive me someday. I just needed to make my father proud.

That's when Pop arrived in the room.

"Philip!" He shouted and ran to my side. Amelia jolted awake.

"Pa! I did exactly as you said, Pop," I whispered. God, it hurt to talk. I saw tears in his eyes. Amelia's eyes were red and puffy from crying.

"Shh. I know, I know. You did everything right," he comforted.

He was holding my hand in one of his and put the other on Amelia's head. Tears were streaming down her cheeks again. She stood up and laid her head against mine. Father gave us a moment alone.

"Philip," she sobbed, "I love you."

I kissed her, gently, "I love you, too, Ami."

Father came back in the room with Mother, who was hysterical.

"Mom, I'm so sorry for forgetting what you taught me," I whispered. My parents continued comforting me. The pain was becoming unbearable.

Amelia started to walk away to give us space, but I grabbed her hand to stop her. She turned back to me and caught my eyes. Her brown pools were breaking my heart.

Then, everything went dark.

Amelia's POV

Philip's hand went lip. Mrs. Hamilton let out a heart wrenching sob. Then, I dropped. My body was shaking and I felt like I was dying. Mrs. Hamilton dropped to her knees next to me and we began sobbing while holding each other. Mr. Hamilton helped us to our feet and walked us out to the carriage.

The ride home was a silent one. It was only in the carriage that I realized that my dress was covered in blood. My wedding dress. Stained with my fiancé's blood. I couldn't think. I couldn't breathe. I could still feel his hand in mine. His kiss on my lips.

When we arrived home, Mrs. Church (Angelica) was there. She looked at my face and then, Mrs. Hamilton's. "No." It was hardly a sound. Just above a whisper. In a moment, she was at Mr. and Mrs. Hamilton's side. I walked silently to my room.

I washed my blood-stained hands in my wash basin. I took off my dress and crinoline and just sat on the floor.

As I sat there, I noticed one of Philip's coats on my chair. I stood up and walked over to it. I brought it to my nose. It still smelled like him. A mixture of ink and wood. I put it on and lied down in my bed. I cried myself to sleep. It was nearly noon, but I couldn't face the family, yet.

"Amelia," I felt a gentle hand on my shoulder. I opened my eyes to see Mrs. Church standing there. I sat up and rubbed my eyes. They hurt from crying so much.

Mrs. Church sat next to me, "How are you feeling, dear?" Her voice was so gentle, like she was speaking to a frightened animal.

I took a deep breath, "I'm lost. He was-he was my heart. And now, I feel like it's been ripped out of my chest." I didn't know why I was telling her this. She was just so kind and easy to talk to.

She put her arms around me, "Is this his?" She pulled on the coat I still had on.

I nodded, "It smells like him. I needed to-"

"You don't need to explain," she interrupted, "I wore Peggy's shawl for weeks after she died." She sat back to look at me and handed me an envelope, "Philip's friend, Adam, brought a letter for you, as well as Eliza and Alexander earlier."

I took it, "Thank you, Mrs.-"

She stopped me, "I'm Aunt Angelica, dear. You may not have been married, yet, but you're still my niece in my eyes."

I smiled, "Thank you, Aunt Angelica." She hugged me and left me to read the letter.

My dearest, Amelia,

              I know I should've told you this myself, but I couldn't risk you trying to stop me. Because if you'd tried, I would've. I would do anything you ask me to. Since you're reading this, I didn't survive. I can't describe how sorry I am that I left you. I can't bear trying to imagine how you look right now. Knowing that I caused it, it's killing me. I just want to hold you, Ami. I hope that someday you'll forgive me. I love you all the stars in the sky.

                                            Yours,
                                            Philip

My heart broke all over again. I ran my fingers over his handwriting. We were supposed to get married in a month and now he was gone.