Simply Because

The School Festival part 4

Daniel:" Yo are you gonna be alright? You don't really seem very fine."

Rosalia:" Huh what are you talking about, I look perfectly fine and I'll be fine."

Daniel:" You don't have to act so tough you know. If you're worried about the performance just say so."

Rosalia:" Nah I'll be fine, I just gotta do my best, then everything should work out right?

Daniel: She definitely doesn't seem fine, I hope she doesn't get too nervous over the performance.

As Rosalia walks around the school, staring at all the people having fun she laughed inside and wondered why she wasn't out there, laughing or having fun. Instead here she was walking around, alone, nervous and scared about the upcoming performance. All for her pride and her desire for acknowledgement from her parents.

As she noticed her brother walking around with a group of his friends, cheerful and smiling, enjoying themselves and having a great time.

Rosalia:" Must be nice having everything handed to you on a silver spoon, you aquire all the skills you need and even more. So much that your parents forgot to leave any for me."

As much as she despised the unfair treatment she was given at home compared to her pampered brother, Rosalia was always able to live with it. Constant screams of her mother would be drowned out by her music and her own mind telling her to rebel against it was suppressed so deep she couldn't even recall it anymore. But she was reaching her breaking point.

Coming home everyday to the constant yellings of her mother with an increased harshness to each insult was beginning to take its toll, and the inferiority she felt towards her brother was growing as each day she saw how much effort her parents had put into him and his future, while they did the bare minimum for her.

"No matter how strong you think you are, there will always be a limit to how much you can handle."

This performance might seem like an ordinary performance between two siblings, and for Lex, it certaintly seemed that way. But for Rosalia, it was more than a performance. It was her chance, an opportunity to prove to her parents who would be there that she was worth their attention.

As the performance would mark the ending of the first day of the school festival, Rosalia could feel the anxiety and nervousness building up even more as the moment approached. She wondered whether she was actually able to live up to the standards she had set for herself.

Her brother was constantly attending violin classes, while she got taken out of classes a few months ago, so she was stuck with learning how to play by herself from Youtube videos and through a bit of exploring on her own. A small part of her constantly echoed to her of how bad of a plan this was, and how it was certainly going to end in nothing but further humiliation. But she needed this, to give herself the strength and motivation to continue working hard. Having always set her brother as her goal and motivation, today was finally the chance she had to best him at something he was good at, to show their parents she could perform better than him.

Rosalia: "Maybe I should start practising."

Taking the violin out of the case, she began to play but found her hands to be shaking, and she couldn't really concentrate or focus on practicing.

Rosalia: "It's no good, what am I gonna do now? I'm so nervous I can't play."

Sitting in the waiting room, Rosalia stared at the ground in despair as she awaited her inevitable humiliation. Almost like she was giving up. Her hands and her entire body was still trembling in fear. Fear that had been built up for years, which was being unleashed at this one moment.