Uh...they are BXB oneshots of tiktokers but i wrote these in 2020 so it's SWAYLA and Hype House. I don't know how any new tiktokers, i dont know who is problematic and tbh i don't even know why you would be reading this in 2024 but enjoy, i guess? o...
(Song fic- Feelings are Fatal by Mxmtoon. Listen to it while you read the oneshot) warning- angst- suicide
Feelings are fatal
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My latest song just released, called Feelings are Fatal. It's a switchup from everything that I had made in the past, and most people liked it. But they never questioned why I made it, they all thought I was just pandering to another demographic of 'depressed' teenagers listening to sad slow music. When I showed it to my friends that's the only thing they said to me, they didn't realize this was my call out for help. I can't tell them how I actually feel because I'm scared so I hoped this would do it, but no one noticed.
i'm happy for you, i'm smiling for you
My smile was almost fake, my rockstar I don't care personality was fake. It was for the camera, for the fans, hell it was for his friends. No one knew what he was actually like, they didn't know he was one of those people who moped around and cried and felt sorry for himself once they were gone and the camera's were off.
i'd do anything for you, for you
I do everything for my friends, I'd do anything for them. Everytime he'd done dumb stuff for Josh and Bryce's vlogs, everytime he lied about his opinions or how he felt for teatok. Everything was for his friends. If one of his friends told him to walk through fire, he'd do it.
I'm always sad and i'm always lonely
He could be in a room filled with people and still feel alone, I could be drunk and dancing and partying and still be sad. And no one would even notice, I can laugh along with jokes and make them all I want but still not feel happy. I'm miserable all the time and you couldn't even tell.
i can't tell you that i'm breaking slowly
My mental deterioration was very slow, it started before I was famous and descended rapidly once it started. I feel like someone's just twisting my leg slowly and painfully until it snaps and disconnected from the rest of my body, all the happiness draining out my body the more I try to restore it in my body. I've tried everything and nothing helps, therapy just makes me more depressed. Anti-depressants do nothing for me, besides for make me tired. There's nothing to help me out and I feel alone.
How many times must I keep it inside
I need to let go and I swear that I tried
No one knows yet...but they will soon. I'm bi, and hopelessly in love with someone who's already taken. Griffin Johnson, yeah the one dating Dixie D'amelio. It's been terrible to st there and watch them flirt and kiss while having a crush on him. I've tried to let it go and realize that there's no way he'll date me, but I just can't. I love him, so much. But no one will ever know.
My feelings are fatal
I'm talking to you from the bottom of my bathroom floor, the whole bottle of Xans I took has already kicked in and the nausea has set in. My whole world is spinning and I wanted you to know what happened and why I got here.
I hear the door open as my heart rate slows to a stop. This is my goodbye.
No one's POV:
Bryce and the rest of the Sway Boys were back from their trip to the store and they had entered the house. They didn't see Jaden anywhere so Bryce walked upstairs to enter Jadens room, "Hey, We're back from the store" he yelled...no response. He walks around before checking the bathroom, finding the door open and a unconscious boy laying on the ground. He had an empty bottle lying in his hand and was slumped against the bathtub. "Jaden if this is a prank it's not funny" Bryce says as he stands there...the boy still hadn't moved at all. The panic truly sets in.
"JADEN NO" Bryce collapses to the floor, throwing the pill bottle across the room. "GUYS HURRY PLEASE" he screams as he tries desperately to find a pulse. He hears footsteps closing in from all directions as the boys enter the room, finding a bawling Bryce and Jaden life-less beside him. "Griffin help, please do something. I don't think he's breathing" he begs as he sits beside the boy. Griffin pushes him out the way tears dripping down his face, grabbing Jaden's arm and checking for where his pulse would've been, getting nothing.
He shoves his fingers down his throat, trying to get him to throw up the pills, but it doesn't work...no reaction. There's nothing he can do at this point, Jaden wasn't waking up. "He's dead" Griffin cries. "NO, he can't leave us. He can't be gone" Josh screams from where he's laying on the bed. Quinton called the ambulance, they'll be here soon. But it didn't matter.
Griffin notices a note laying on the floor beside him, he grabs it up and places it on the bed so everyone could see it.
Hello,
When you find this note I'll already be dead or on the very brink of death. There won't be any way to save me, and I don't think I want you too. Tell my family that I loved them so much and I'm sorry that it came to this. To Bryce, Josh, Anthony, Kio and Quinton I want you to know that there's nothing you could've done to make me happier. The few times where I was happy it was because of you, you guys meant the world to me...I loved you more than I loved myself.
To Griffin, you get your own section because I have to get this off my chest. I was bi, and I liked you. I don't expect it to change anything, especially not now that I'm dead but I just wanted you to know. If your happy with Dixie and don't like guys then by all means just ignore this part, I still want you to at least like me after I'm gone.
I love all of you so much and I'll miss you dearly. I'll be watching over all of you in the afterlife. Please don't let my death burden you too much, I'm really not worth it.
My dying wish, is that you're all still happy without me and you tell the fans what truly happened to me. I love you all, goodbye.
At this point no one was stable, they were all crying. Big gut wrenching sobs were leaving their bodies, causing them to shudder and shake each time they took a breath. They were all clinging together as the EMT's picked up Jaden's corpse and rolled it into the ambulance.
And even though Griffin was heartbroken and upset about the loss of one of his best friends, he knew he didn't love Jaden the way Jaden loved him.
His feelings were fatal
So, let me know if you cried reading this. I almost did writing it. I feel like I'm better at angst then fluff.
