Well, this is a journal, so you found it. Can I say Happy reading into my life? The life of a kid who hates love. This is a love story, darling.
Well, I don't know about you but I hate school, I have been told it is a place to mingle with good souls...
His eyes were on her but somehow he still managed to laugh along with the joke Ray made.
I and Lia made our way to the canteen. Seeing Mark laughing around casually like he never made a girl cry. It was a pleasure to the eyes of me knowing he could be a lowlife creature. I was a shameless viper. Something stirred in me. I got up from my seat and went to Mark and told him with a Cheshire grin which made me look ugly. I felt smiling made me even uglier because I was slightly aware of my deranged soul. I felt my smile make me look childish.
' I don't want to do anything with you
He was still laughing at what Ray said and just mumbled something incoherent. I was sure he heard me loud and clear because we never spoke to each other after that.
It soon was the last bell of the day. Miranda rushed home. She took her phone and blocked and deleted Mark's number. She exited the group chat that Mark made and added her. She deleted that group.
Miranda was the definition of a naive girl. She came to school to gain educational knowledge only. She left her phone at home. Besides, it was a rule not to bring phones to school. Defying the order could lead to termination. I never really understood the school merit policy or its punishment system.
It was hours turned into days, days turned into weeks.
Miranda and Mark became strangers. It felt like the commotion never happened. From being the beings of the light, they disappear into shadows. Mark didn't apologize, Miranda hated Mark and me, Lee remained Mark's friend and also Miranda's, and being in different classes gave the perfect cold shoulder to each other. Life was chaotic for 3 months and then it turned silent in an instant.
It was exactly 3 weeks after that commotion happened. Again something ridiculous was given birth.
But yet I don't regret it because I felt it was the best analogy I ever made in the spur of the moment. According to Lia, it was a vulgar analogy, maybe it was, maybe it wasn't. At the age of 13, life was a real soap opera. It may be exaggerated but I felt like it was. From being able to fill moments with words, some moments were wordless.
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It was the time I felt ugly and dead inside. I hate smiling. I hated myself. I was filled with life and I was empty. I was at a loss for words when I could write the best essays in class. I don't know what triggered Mark to pull that stunt on 31st March and for him to mumble inaudible sorry. I don't why Miranda felt broken at the loss of two friends. I don't why Lia felt, I was too vulgar with my choice of words.
I am rambling once again.
I hate myself. I hate my mind to be exact. I am rather talented at manipulating words but I have trouble expressing myself ironically. This is me supposed to be narrating the tale of my high school to you instead it is more of a, you read what I narrated.
