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KIM TAEHYUNG

It has been months, but I still can't let it go. I still can't believe it. I still can't get over it. I lost myself when I lost him, but I sill got jazz when I got those blues.

Listening to my music I sit on the couch of my apartment, looking out of the window. It's raining, weather matching my feelings, the streets are empty, like my heart.

Losing my mate was the worst thing that ever happened to me. Park Bogum was not only my mate, he was sweet and caring too. He was a beta, the son of a great friend of my father's. I've always disliked him when we were younger, but when he turned out to be my mate, I started to like him. I got to know him more, he was truly amazing.

But now I'm sitting here on our couch, listening to what used to be our song and allowing tears to roll down my cheeks. I felt pathetic, but I don't care either.

I look around the room. Tonight will be the last night I'm here. I made the decision to go back to my old pack. I left there to live with Bogum here in our apartment. But now that he left this apartment made suffocates me. Every thing reminds me of Bogum. I cry even by only seeing the spoons here, remembering how it made Bogum and I start a food fight. Or when I see the painting above the television, we bought it together as our first decoration in our house.

I felt my heart shatter, pained and in tears I avert my gaze from the painting to my telephone which is ringing. I grab it and see my mother's phone number so I pick up.

"Hello, mamma", I say softly. "Hello, Taebear. We're in front of your house now, will you come downstairs?" she asks with a soft caring voice. She knows how hard it is for me, she doesn't want to give in because it won't be good for me, but she does pity me and I hate it. I don't want anyone pitying me...

So I say yes and decline to call. I go to my bathroom and wash my face. I'll leave my apartment like this. I don't take any of my stuff with me except for my clothes. The buyer of my apartment takes all my stuff. I do take this necklace with me, a golden necklace with a ruby in it. I got it from Bogum and even though I need to get over him, I don't want to throw all our stuff away. So I keep this as our memory and walk towards the door.

I look back one more time and get out as I softly close the door now not being able to get in again. I let my fingers slide of the door handle as I gulp.

"Goodbye, Gummy", I whisper as I blink away my tears. From now on I have to be strong. That's what Bogum wanted right? Me to be fine and not to keep drowning in sadness. He would wanted me to move on and be happy right?

With a bellyache and a bit dizzy I go down the staircase towards the exit where I see a car. I get in and greet my parents shortly. "Are you ready, Tae?" my mother asks and I shrug. "I guess I'm never ready, but let's go anyway", I mumble and they nod as my father starts driving the car.

"Uncle Samuel will come for diner tonight", my mother smiles and I smile little as I nod and look out of the window.

Uncle Samuel is a nice man. He always cheers me up and whenever he visits us it's a big party. But honestly I'm not waiting for that. I don't want to be cheered up. I want to go home and cry all night not thinking about the tomorrow.

When Bogum died, I was a mess. He was my mate for just 3 months. I missed him immediately. I cried for days, didn't stop once. I even thought about killing myself too so we could be together again, but my best friend kept me from doing so. Park Jimin.

He's an angel. I'm so unbelievably happy and thankful to have him as my best friend. He's an Omega just as me and went to a similar situation as me. When he lived at his pack they got attacked when he turned 18 years old and just found his mate. His mate was an Alpha but didn't survive the attack. Jimin lost his mate the same day he got him, but he cries just a day. "I can't miss what I never had. You and Bogum are a different situation. Don't feel pathetic for crying over a beloved one." He told me when I told him I felt so weak crying over him while he didn't care that much.

Jimin lives close to were I used to live and we were almost always together, which I didn't mind but Bogum did. He wanted time for us two, but Jimin was almost always around. We even fought about it. From that moment I made sure Bogum and I had more time together and I'm happy I did. It's like he knew he would be gone some weeks after.

When we finally arrive at the pack I look around. Not much changed from the last time I came here. There are 4 new houses, but that's it. I see children play outside and having fun. Some in their wolf form and some in their normal form.

I smile by seeing them. I remember playing with Jimin as a child. Jimin's mother was best friends with mine and so we hung out a lot. We used to play tag your it together. Jimin was there when I first shifted in my wolf too and played with me all day. He might be older than me, he never cared. He always was a class higher, but played with me in the lunch breaks.

And I was happy with it because I didn't want other friends. I was good at chatting with people and make friends, but they never lasted. Only Jimin did. So I didn't make friends anymore and stayed loyal to Jimin.

Later this day Samuel came. We ate dinner together and listened to Samuel's big plans for future. He was doing very well, engaged to the woman he loves and having a great job. He's a beta like Bogum, but has the strength of an Alpha.

After dinner I start cleaning up. It's the least I can do for my sweet parents and I just wanted to be alone for a second, away from all the positivities in other's lives. But that didn't work out as I soon noticed Samuel helping me.

"You don't have to help, Hyung. I'll do it", I try and he smiles. "I'll help you, Tae. It's a lot and I wanted to talk with you", he smiles and I sigh softly. "I heard what happened. I'm really sorry for your lost, I understand it's really hard for you", he says and I look at him. I'd never seen him so serious.

"It is.." I mumble. "You know.. I never told you, but the exact same thing happened to me", Samuel says and I frown. "But.. Sarah-" "She's not my mate, well.. my chosen one", Samuel answers. "I didn't know", I mumble and smile little towards him. "Because I never told you. I know how you feel right now. You're devastated and broken", Samuel says and I nod as I look out the little window and feel a tear roll down my cheek already.

"How did you ever get over this feeling, Sam? It hurts so much. I can't bear the pain anymore", I whisper and grab my heart with one hand. Samuel places his hand on my shoulder. "Being positive and finding someone new. This happens with a reason, Tae, the moon goddess said this match wasn't the right one. Your actual mate is still out there", Samuel smiles little. "Sarah is mine."

"You felt the mate bond with her?" I ask and Samuel chuckles as he shakes his head. "We got together because of an choice I made and we started dating after a while. Now i realize she's the one and no one could stand between the love I have for her and me", Samuel says and I sigh softly by his story.

"But I love Bogum so much", I mumble and Samuel hugs me comforting. "Do you? Or did you love the thing you guys had, the bond? I don't say you didn't like Bogum, but think about it for a while okay?" Samuel says and I nod softly.

"Now come with me and have a bit fun okay? You should enjoy every bit of your life and not be sad about the past okay?" I nodded and smiled lightly, his words from before still flying through my head as my favourite uncle drags me towards the living where we play Uno all together.

Y'all I'm so excited for this one honestly, hope you are too :)

xx Ally