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[3]

3| Alpha Jeon

KIM TAEHYUNG

Some days after the pack Alpha visited us, I wake up in my bed again, immediately thinking about that particular day. The idea of handing myself over to Alpha Jeon got me sick, literally. The day after I heard about it, I got very sick. It was all just because of the nerves and because of the tension, but I couldn't help it. It is my own fault of course, but still.

I sigh and get out of bed. I put on my clothes after a long warm shower and go downstairs. Later today Alpha Jeon and his beta will arrive, but I felt nothing, no nerves, no fear, absolutely no happiness. I noticed I was totally freaking out, so badly that I got numb, dizzy in my head, and very, very unstable.

So when my mother walked my way and hugs me and she talks to me in her angelic sweet soft voice, I broke down in tears. Hugging her closely and wishing it could just stay this way. I was so into Samuel's words about getting a new chance and trying to do something back for my parents, that I didn't realize I'd be all on my own when I'm there. Once I'm there, I'll be on my own with absolutely no one to hold on, no one I know. That thought terrified me.

I don't know how Alpha Jeon is, I guess he's a bad guy if I have to believe every story about him. But there are so many humans in this world everybody thinks are bad guys, but they turn out to be lifesavers, good people. I try to hold onto that thought, the thought of me going there and meeting with a real gentleman, someone who'd understand me and will treat me nicely. But deep inside me, I knew that was not going to happen. I could sense it.

"It's going to be alright, Tae", my mother whispers in my ear and pulls away from the hug a bit. "This will protect you." She grabs the ruby on my necklace and I take it as I look at it, feeling another wave of sadness run through me, right to my heart, where it tears everything apart to make room for the heavy emotion.

I cry harder. "Cry as much as you want okay? I want you to be strong when he arrives, don't show him your weaknesses, you don't know what that demon might do with it", she says and holds me again as I nod my head in agreement.

"Mamma? Is he really that bad? Aren't the stories exaggerated a bit every time they got told to someone else until it became this bad?" I ask, hoping for a 'yes', but I didn't get anything back, just an, even more, tighter hug.

"You want to sleep some more?" I hear her say and I nod as I wrinkle out of her embrace and feel her peck my forehead. "I'll wake you up in time", she smiles and I smile little back before going upstairs.

It took me half an hour before I finally got lost in the darkness and give in to the sleep that was trying to take over me. I was just so worried about later today. I kept on thinking about stuff and panicking, till my body said 'nope', and stopped working.

My mother did wake me up on time. "Taehyung, sweetheart, go shower okay? Don't make it too long." I nod still a bit sleepy and slowly sit up. I watch my mother walk out and silently get up from my bed and walk towards the bathroom. I let the water flow and undress slowly as my eyes go to the mirror and I sigh.

I'm a real Omega. You can see it in everything, my behavior, my way of thinking, my strength, and unfortunately also in the way I look. I don't look manly like Alphas or Betas. I don't really mind that I look less manly honestly, I am ending with someone more manly than me anyways. And let's be honest, my personality does not really match with a muscular broad body. My strength also doesn't and I'm gay so I don't need to be stronger than my possible future girlfriend. Still, I can't help and be a little bit disappointed. And the stares you get aren't really pleasing either. They're either hungry stares or disgusted.

I sigh and step under the warm water. I wash myself and my hair and bite my lip softly when I realize something. Do I have to mate with Alpha Jeon?

Normally the Luna of the pack is bonded to the Alpha, sometimes even married too. What if we're supposed to mate? I don't want to mate with a stranger! And definitely not when I'm still processing the loss of my real mate. What if we have to? Obviously I'll protest against the idea... will they force me to do so anyway? Will Alpha Jeon rape me?

And there are the nerves and fear again.

I shake my head, I am so stupid. Why do I think about these things? I shouldn't fuck myself up. I should try to gain some confidence and try to make the best of it, right?

I step out of the shower and dry my body and hair. I put on black skinny jeans with a purple sweater and white shoes, feeling fancy as fudge and ruffle my blond hair a bit to feel it's still too wet. I bite my lip and look at the clock to see it's too late to do my hair.

"Fine, we'll have to get through it with fluffy hair then", I mumble and go downstairs. "You want something to eat, Tae?" my father asks and I shake my head. "I'll puke on Alpha Jeon's face if I eat right now, so no thanks", I sigh with a little small. My father nods and gestures me to come as we make our way outside.

Together with my two parents, I walk towards our packhouse. I now could feel the tension rise and how my body even heats up a bit by the nerves. I already wore a blush on my face without even having to face anyone yet. I notice how quiet it is in the village and see most curtains are closed. Most wolves do this to not having to face the horrible Alpha, and I don't really care cause this way we don't draw much attention.

When we arrive at the packhouse, the door gets opened by the pack Alpha, a great gesture. "Come in, Kim, Alpha Jeon is on his way to here", the Alpha says and we nod softly as we put off our coats and hang them on a coat rack in the big hall.

We get led towards a big room, which looks like a living, yet it's just a sort of waiting room, it's a room for business and not for private comfort. I don't want to know how comfortable the living here is if this is just a waiting room. The Alpha sits with us and talks with us to make the air less tensed, but I can't listen to him, lost in my own little world, called anxiety-land, it's fun, lemme tell ya.

Just now I start to get really curious. I'm still terrified as hell, but I can't help and be curious about how my soon to be partner looks like, how he sounds like, or how he smells. He is the biggest and strongest Alpha in the world, so he must be muscular, right? I know it isn't the right time to mention this, but I have a huge muscle kink and- Oke yes the wrong timing. I am still talking about Alpha Jeon, a.k.a, the devil.

But the hope that this Alpha is just 'normal' is still there. I just want him to be chill to go with you know? But I guess the gods aren't on my side today..

A presence nears us, one that you can feel from far, a scent fills my nose that makes me tremble in my seat by the dominance and when the door opens I look up to be met with a greek god. I mean he isn't but certainly looks like it.

"Alpha Jeon! What great to see you. Let me introduce you to your soon to be mate, Kim Taehyung."