Searching for love

5

It was day four of me being locked up in my house and I was going crazier by the minute. My arm already felt better and I was itching to get back to work. After all the begging my boss still wouldn't let me come back to work insisting I spend at least one more week working from home. Fortunately for me, he had increased my workload by a bit which I was grateful for. My house was once again sparkly and organized due to my boredom. The detective had come to visit me a few times and kept pestering me with questions about my mother. I occasionally noticed the patrol car posted outside my house but tried to avoid looking at it altogether. Honestly, at this moment I wanted my life to get back to the boring schedule I had once despised. All these life threats, lockdowns, and mystery revolving around my mother were too much to deal with. When I wished for my life to get exciting I was kind of hoping for maybe making a good friend, having a social life, and a special someone to spend my life with. What I really wanted was to form relationships and be happy in life due to the people around me. However, it was almost the opposite, instead of happiness by people I was getting death threats over something I didn't even understand. I sighed and headed to my closet to pick something out to wear. I was done being cooped up in the house.

I observed my reflection in the mirror. My blue eyes were dim from exhaustion and my dark circles were more prominent than ever. My lips were dry and chapped. My blonde hair was up in a messy bun but at least looked presentable. I had on my black ankle-length leggings and a blue sweatshirt. I put on my sneakers and looked sadly into the mirror. I looked terrible. My skin was paler than ever and I looked depressed. I was usually good at covering up my emotions but no matter how hard I tried nothing seemed to work. This was the fourth outfit I had tried on and so far this was the best bet. I had put on a dress earlier and some heels but I just looked dead in that. I was hoping to dress up really nice and head to the mall or cafe or something but with the current state of thighs my best bet was to probably go for a run in the park. That would help me clear my mind as well as get in some fresh air. I needed a nice workout to get my mind off things and with a troubled mind, I headed out.

Sweat rolled down from me in what seemed like waves. I was out of breath and was breathing heavily. Jeez, I was in rough shape. Many people stared or looked at me while I was running and I was feeling really self-conscious. Was there something wrong with how I looked? It was only later that I realized that they must have been shocked at my terrible shape and how much I was pushing myself. But I couldn't help it. I was really confused and troubled and running helped me put my mind at ease. I finally decided to stop when I noticed the light fading out. I slowed my pace down and sat at a nearby bench while sipping on some water. I shook my sweaty and wet hair out and tied it back up. I glanced at my phone. No notifications...the usual. As I stared at the darkening skies I thought back on the memories of my mom. She was always a kind, open, and caring person. She never had any friends or anyone in her life other than me. Could she really have been involved in gangs or the underworld? I laughed outright at the thought. Yeah, that would be impossible. I just couldn't picture my mom that way. True, she was a beautiful almost too beautiful person and had to have had a troubled past to have no relation with her parents or my father. She never spoke about her family or past ever. Wherever I asked about my father she never answered. She never told me anything about him and I eventually gave up. I was always and am still curious but it's too late now. She died and now there wasn't anyone I could go to for answers. I suspected she was from a rich and influential family from the way she acted and looked. As for my father I have nothing.

I headed back to my apartment, walking along the busy and noisy streets. Everyone seemed lost in their own world, including myself. With my head filled with thoughts, I was pushed along with the crowd and before I knew it I was home. I noticed the lack of the patrol car and relaxed, maybe the threat was over? In a happier mood, I bounded towards my apartment. I pushed open my front door feeling better than I had in several days. As I walked I removed my shoes and pranced in the kitchen only to come to a screeching halt at the sight in front of me.