Searching for love

29

I went to the balcony, where I picked up. "Hey", I whispered softly. "Hey, are you alright? Sorry I didn't pick up earlier I missed it and got to it too late", Eren said groggily. Just hearing his voice warmed me up. "Um...I'm sorry for calling so late. I just...", and to my utter shock and horror, I broke into tears. "Layla! What's wrong?", Eren said panic and worry laced in his voice. I sobbed harder and said, "It was...something at work. But there was this guy who worked with Keith and he...", I trailed off unable to say anymore. I thought I was stronger. Why was I still crying? Stupid me, I thought. "Layla, listen to me. You are strong. You will get through this. I believe in you. I'm sorry you had to go through that. I want to kill that bastard", Erren said darkly. Smiled at his encouragement and said, "Thank you Eren...for being with me". There was a moment of silence and Eren replied, "Always".

I drove back home after a busy day at work on Monday. We had to recheck and reevaluate all the security at Ellie and the lab as well as write detailed reports on the whole event that occurred. I was tired and just wanted to lay down. Hunter had handed me a list of candidates that he thought were suitable for the weekend position and I would have to go over them and schedule an interview. I dragged myself out of the car and threw myself on the couch and was fast asleep, still in my shoes, and suit with my bag thrown on the floor in minutes.

I awoke to my dad calling my name. I groggily opened my eyes, still laying on the couch looking at my dad running to the living room. When he saw me sleeping he stopped and whispered a sorry. I smiled and got up slowly and hugged him. "I missed you dad", I said sleepily breathing in his familiar scent. He chuckled and kissed my head and said, "I missed you too honey". He then put me back on the couch and wrapped a blanket over me. I smiled. It was great to have a family.

I snuggled deeper into what seemed like a musky, cozy blanket. I opened my eyes when I recognized that smell and could feel some motion. My eyes met the intelligent gaze of Eren. "Oops...sorry I woke you", he whispered softly as he put me on my bed. I grabbed him and pulled him on my bed swiftly laughing at his surprised face as I held him and whispered, my voice husky, "I missed you". His face turned soft and he kissed me deeply and said, "I missed you more than you could ever imagine". I smiled as I breathed him in.

My stomach grumbled loudly and I opened my eyes reluctantly. To my surprise, Eren was still by my side fast asleep. However, hearing my stomach quickly woke him up. He smiled as he looked into my eyes and said, "Well we can't have that". I blushed and got up from bed and said, "I didn't even have dinner. I was so tired from work". We headed downstairs where to my surprise I saw my after pigging out on ice cream. He turned red after being caught and I laughed loudly. Eren smiled too and then my dad turned to him and said, "Wait...what are you doing here?", Eren looked shocked for a second. He obviously didn't know what to say. I looked up at him too, waiting for a response, "Umm...I was with Layla. We were just grabbing some dinner now...", he said nervously. I smiled at him and winked at my dad and headed to the kitchen. "Layla...I didn't want to have this conversation now...but I think it's time. What do you want from this relationship?", Eren asked as he made me a sandwich. He turned to me as he handed me a sandwich. I blinked furiously and slowly said, "What I want? I...I...um", I paused and looked at Eren who was staring at me intently. I took his hand in mine and touched is promise ring. He froze at my movements and said, "I want you to be mine. Only mine. But what do you want? Are you even ready to give me all of you? I don't know anything about you. You never talk to me about anything and to be fair I never asked. But I'm asking you now. I am ready to give you my entire self. All the scars, pain, sadness and love. I want to share everything with you because...Eren I've loved you since the first time I saw you".

I studied Eren's face taking in his dark, soulful black eyes and his messy brown hair. He was still in his office pants and formal shirt like me. He was so handsome and my heart ached for him. I had bred my all to him, would he do the same or would this be the last I saw of him. If this was the last time I saw him, I wanted this picture of him to be painted in my head forever. He sighed and ran a hand through his hair as he leaned against the counter top. He opened his eyes and stared at his ring and said to me, still facing the ring, "Valentina was my first love. She was my everything. I was the cause of her death and demise. I had promised her an eternity forever filled with love but instead she got a life of misery that was cut tragically by my mistake. I never had anyone to call my own before her. My dad beat me and my mom neglected me. Your father was the only one I could turn to. I never had a meaning or purpose to life but that was before Valentina. I don't have physical scars like you do. However, I have mental scars that stop me from moving forward. I am emotionally and mentally scarred".

I unbuttoned my shirt, my lace bra underneath. His eyes widened as I pulled his hand to touch my scars. "You're able to see and touch them. There is nothing I can do to hide them, However, just because you can see them doesn't make the pain I feel any more than the pain you felt. We experienced different kinds of pain and went through different experiences but that doesn't make your pain any less. I understand if you don't want me by your side but I promise you, you will find love. Your emotional and mental scars will heal just like my physical ones have. It takes time and will never fully disappear but hold onto the good memories. Depend on your friends and loved ones and you will get back...just like I have. It will only get better", I said softly with tears in my eyes. I kissed him on his head and left the kitchen with a heavy heart. I guess there really was no future for us.