Crack fiction a book full of shit

How I got my alpaca

Your just walking on the street with your buddy when you spot a man who looks like the karate teacher from karate kid. ( the original )
"EY THA'S A ALPACA" You screamed and turned back to you friend to find him passed out on the side walk. You didn't care that much because he was probably having a brain freeze.
You walked up to the man and asked if you could pet his alpaca. "Hey old man can I pet your alpha?" you asked. "No" *inserts your sad face* "you can keep it" said the old man. You stood there with a 'how the fuck am I supposed to care for an alpaca' expression. You ran after the old man but he pulled his pants down and vanished into thin air.
You didn't question anything. You took the alpaca back to where your friend was passed out on the side walk. A few minutes go by and he just got up like nothing happened.
He looked at you and looked at the alpaca with a 'what the fuck?' expression. "I need to wake up" he said. "You dumb fuck you're already awake" you said and slapped him. "Well fuck I am" he replied. "Uhh so where did you get the alpaca from?" he asked. "I got it from.. OH THERE HE IS OVER THERE!!" you pointed to the old pantsless man who was walking away from you two. "Ah you saw nothing" he said running when all of a sudden a UFO came and abducted him.
You stood there not fazed at all while your friend was having a mini panic attack. He passed out again and you just left him there bringing your new pet alpaca home.
What did you name him? You named him Skidadle.