As You Are

Settling In

Addison

"Derek, we need to talk" I said, as I met him at our house. Riley was at school, and I'd phoned Derek and asked him to meet me to discuss some things.

He'd surprisingly, and begrudgingly, agreed.

"I'll have a lawyer contact you about the divorce" he says, standing up from the kitchen table to walk towards me "I don't want anything of yours, I don't want the house, I don't want full custody" he tacks on, and I can't help the shocked expression on my face.

He was so stoic, no emotion on his face whatsoever. But he wasn't joking; he was being serious.

"I'm moving to Seattle with Meredith. I'd like to take Riley with us"

He just looks at me and takes a step back, as if I've slapped him. He doesn't say anything, but he doesn't have to.

"You can't" he says, but instead of sounding angry, he just sounded broken. "She's my daughter too, dammit" he looked at me with the same eyes our daughter looked at me with, and for the first time in months, I saw him as a person and not just this man that was ruining my life.

I started to feel guilty; guilty for taking Riley from her father, and guilty for putting Derek through all of this.

But not guilty for being with Meredith; I made the right choice, and it would be a cold day in hell before I'd say otherwise.

Right when he'd come to terms with the divorce and was willing to talk civilly, I had to tell him I was taking his daughter to a different state.

"She will visit you all the time" I promise "every holiday, every birthday, every first day of school. You'll be there for all of it, I will make sure you don't miss anything" I tell him, trying not to well up with tears. "She's yours too, Derek. She's your daughter. But she's also my daughter, and she's staying with me come hell or high water"

I gave birth to her, I was in labour for two days, I was sore for months and I was up with her every single night, I was with her no matter what.

She was staying with me.

"I don't want to fight with you over this" he says with a sigh "I know you're right; she needs to stay with you. It's what makes sense" he agrees, and I swear hell freezes over in that moment.

There was no fight, no anger, no resistance. Nothing. He was just giving up, not dragging this out to make it more painful, and I wasn't sure what to think about it.

It were as if Derek were a whole new person, and I wasn't sure how to react.

"What the hell happened to you?" I ask, surprised "don't get me wrong, I like it, you're more yourself. Less angry. But just a week ago you were willing to fight me for custody" I wasn't sure if this was some plan to catch me off guard or what, but when it came to my daughter I wasn't taking any chances.

"I've been staying at Mark's. He's helped me see the light" he shrugs, and I can't help but laugh. Leave it to Mark Sloan to knock some sense into Derek.

"You mean Mark's been calling you out on your bullshit" I say fondly, knowing Mark. He was the last person on the planet to put up with Derek's bullshit.