Redemption: A Reylo Story

Force Tantrum

REY

Who did the voice belong to I heard during my meditation? I attempt to  address the voice directly asking, but never receive an answer.

The words spoken to me are still swirling in my mind as I begin to concentrate on opening the Force-bond to Ben.

It opens much easier tonight, but the sight I am greeted with sends sharp spikes of anger through my body. Standing in his personal quarters, Ben is shirtless; a scantily clad woman is on her knees before him while rhythmic music plays in the background. I know exactly what scene is playing out here. Seething, I slam the bond closed and fall to my knees as my eyesight blurs. I know he is no longer mine, but my jealousy consumes me. A hazy redness seeps into my peripheral vision as I feel the rage inside of me boil over.

"Aaahhhhhh!"

I awaken in a dimly lit room, strapped down to a bed with a Force collar around my neck preventing me from using my powers. One of the young flight crew members is sitting across from me. He jumps nervously when he realizes I am awake.

"Excuse me, Master Rey, let me go tell General Organa you are awake."

Even though I know the collar suppresses my connection with the Force, I try to undo my straps anyway, without success.

I remember everything that happened to put me in this situation. I became enraged when I saw Ben with another woman and threw what was equivalent to a Force-tantrum, destroying my living quarters and a few others. When Poe attempted to calm me down, I Force-slammed him against the wall and then began Force-choking him. His face had started to become cyanotic when someone hit me with a stunning blaster round from behind. Then I awoke here collared.

Leia and Finn enter my room a few minutes later. They both appear cautious. Leia speaks first, using a soothing tone.

"Rey, how are you feeling? Are you feeling calm again?" Not waiting for an answer, "I'm sorry we had to collar you, but in your grief, you had gotten out of control."

"I am better General. You are right. My grief became too much for me and I lost control." I lied. "Thank you for protecting me and everyone else."

Leia's face tightens as a pained look crosses her face and I notice Finn dart his eyes away briefly.

"Where's Poe? I need to apologize to him, " I say.

"He's in the medical bay getting his shoulder put back in place," Finn states bluntly not making eye contact.

A twinge of guilt hits me and I begin to sob. "I'm so sorry! I'm so sorry!" I wail. Finn and Leia's faces soften at my outburst.

"I think it will be ok to take the collar off now, Finn," Leia states.

Approaching me cautiously, Finn gently removes the Force collar. I immediately release the other straps holding my hands and feet using the Force. Finn startles and I see a look of fear race across his face. Sitting up, I abruptly pull him into a hug. "I'm so sorry Finn. Please forgive me." I feel him relax and then embrace me in a bone-crushing hug.

Leia sits down in a chair beside me and states, "Rey, I have to tell you something. During your...um outburst, you caused a tremor in the Force, similar to the one I felt the day you were injured on Gernel."

She is being careful not to say too much with Finn present, but I know what she means.

"You sent out a Force shock-wave so strong, you split the building containing the living quarters into pieces. The building's foundation was cracked through to the ground. Many people were injured."

Looking down, Leia continues, "And two people were killed when parts of the building collapsed on them."

Shocked by her explanation of my actions, I am faced with the repercussions. I have killed two people with my Force-tantrum—innocent bystanders caught in my jealousy fueled rage. What have I done?

Leia pats my hand. "We know you didn't mean it, Rey. You have been through so much pain and grief lately. I should have seen it coming.  I know I haven't been here for you like I should.  I have behaved with less emotion than a droid.  I shoved all of my own feelings down and shut them off to protect myself.  Avoided you...just to...protect me.  I contributed to this." Leia has large tears dripping down her face as she acknowledges her faults.

I accept her words with a small head nod and do not correct her assumption as to what caused my outburst. Although I am able to keep my face calm, if not a little sad, my thoughts are reeling.

I killed two people. Ben doesn't care about me. I hurt Poe. I will never be able to have children. Ben betrayed me. I've betrayed my friends. I'm the reason the First Order got our base's location. I'm the reason Rose is dead. The voice is right.

I am able to hide my storming emotions from Finn, but I am not so sure about Leia. Calming her own emotional turmoil, her expression has changed to a thinly veiled look of suspicion.

"We have arranged a new living area for you. I am afraid it is on the other side of your training area. Some of the people were nervous about you living so close again, so I made the decision to place you there. It's a small hut, but we've made sure you have all of the accommodations you need. Again, Rey, I am sorry," Leia states.

"I do understand General." And I did.

Walking into my hut, I am taken back to memories of Gernel and my dwelling place there. The fireplace, bed, and table are set up exactly the same. It even has one little window like the dwelling. I will not be waking up to my little bird singing to me though. I vaguely wonder if he is alright, or injured during Kylo Ren's return. Thinking about the little bird keeps me from thinking about Ben and I in the dwelling—anything to avoid that.

I have decided to keep to myself, train, and meditate on the Force. My hut being away from everyone else will help that. Although I have not seen Poe yet, I will wait for him to come to me.

AN: The doom and gloom chapters are almost over, I promise. Time for more Rey/Ben, hope, and action.