It's my party and I can cry if I want to

Tired of being Tired (It's always just us) 👩🏾‍🦱👩🏾

To my dearest sister,

I see you,

Let us stay up all night and dream of a dream bigger than us,

Drinking wine .. laughing at nothing,

It may be nothing, but it's our nothing,

Just like our self-care Sundays,

Just like our gossip-filled phone calls,

And just like our scary movie nights,

Just both of us desperate to feel alive again .. when we're barely hanging on,

But that never stops us, 

Because even on our worst days-

It's always just us,

New Jersey winters are cold but the world is colder,

You think your heart is stone when it's made out of glass,

So precious yet delicate,

Easy to break but never easy to fix,

A fiery rage fills your body as you scream to be seen,

So tired of being tired,

Your eyes tearful when you wake .. today was another day,

For all the world's bewildering mistakes,

But understand that you are seen,

Without you- there would be no me,

It's always just us,

So tired of being tired,

In a lot of ways ... we make each other whole,

Our thoughts? Youthful! Our lives? Hopeful!

But our worlds? Frightening.

Purple spotlights, Crystal floors, and You ...

Everyone's watching you,

It's someone else's wedding but you are the bride for the night,

I sit watchful and envious at how beautiful you were,

So unaware and relaxed,

Dancing the night away being unabashedly you,

Something I could never be,

In a room with all of these people but no one at the same time,

There was no show .. You were the show,

That was the first time I had ever seen you,

The you that wasn't trying to please me,

The you that wasn't trying to please him,

But the you that was just you,

In that moment .. you weren't tired and you didn't need me,

You didn't see the gleam in eyes,

The laughter falling from your lips,

And certainly didn't see the effortlessly swaying of your body to the music,

Maybe you were tired of being tired of being tired,

The world is hard but continue to be kind,

You are loved and you are seen,

You are a mother to your children,

You are a mother to the earth,

You are a mother to me,

So please understand that you are seen,

It's not always just you,

It's always just us,

And even though we're so tired of being tired,

At least we'll never be alone in this world,

Thank you for being my bestest friend.

-

Artist: Noah Davis (Untitled)

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Brief Description:

I wrote this poem at 3am as I do all of my poems and I wrote this one about my sister. My sister has been going through a lot since she's a health worker, a mother of two, and battling her mental health. Today she called me a complete wreck and it geninuely broke my heart because there was nothing that I could do. So, I thought that I could soothe her with what I've always known- my words. This poem is so special to me because it's like the words to flowed out my body as my brain could recall every precious memory of our time. The virus has restricted us of hanging out as much as we'd like so when I do speak to her- I cherish it. My sister is my best friend and to know she's in pain (on so many levels) was enough for me to say the things that I have never articulated to her before. ❤️❤️