It's my party and I can cry if I want to

Contentment 🌱🌸

What does it mean to be content?

Contentment is not an absurd feeling ... Contentment is the yearning for life,

The urgency to live, to smile, to love and to be loved,

Oh! What a feeling to be loved ... to be loved whole and not half,

To be smiled at and not smiled with,

To be craddled and not held ... Embrace me hard or not at all!

Imagine the level of imtimacy that lies within a lover ... the level of contentment,

What does it mean to be content?

Contentment is lying underneath a window seal and listening to the soft pitter patters of the rain,

Contentment is waking up in the morning when last night it felt impossible to do,

And Contentment is falling in love with someone unexpectedly and knowing that it's mutual,

To be content is not a feeling but an action,

It's action that is learned as it's an action that is earned,

Imagine living the life that you've always imagined ... one that is hopeful and bright,

One that is full of wonders, desirez, and one that is not (for once) filled with spite,

What does it mean to be content?

Contentment is crying because the suffering is no longer,

Contentment is the dreams that we're once considered fictional to being real,

Contentment is holding hands with lover and screaming 'I love you' inside your head but being beaten by your lover who says it out loud,

What does it mean to be content?

It means that contentment is in you and other people,

Contentment is stored within the nature of life,

Contentment is stored within the person you love,

And Contentment is stored within the open letters that never reach the unreachable, but you know it's there.

Sometimes contentment can be bitter ... it can be loving someone from afar because they aren't good for you,

Maybe my mother wasn't good for me but it doesn't stop me from loving her,

Loving her during the worst of times and loving her during the natural diasters of love,

She could be the love of my life and in a lot of ways- that is contentment,

Love isn't always romantic and they tend to be harder that way,

She makes loving her hard and so do I,

But it's her embrace that makes the action of contentment feel both conflicting and emotional.

Contentment is trying and never giving up and extending the notion understanding,

... Understanding that is living with the things you can't change.

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Artist: Vincent van Gogh (Still Life: Vase with Pink Roses)

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Brief Description:

I wrote this poem within an hour because I was so overwhelmed with emotions about the definition of contentment. The definition of contentment beyond its actual meaning. I pondered whether it meant true happiness from within, or settling to agree or disagree with a mother. My relationship with my mother is estranged for many reasons and It's interesting how content I am with loving her in my way. Not too much or too little. Loving her from afar because she's quieter and easier to understand than when we're too close. I've also processed that loving someone romantically is major sign of contentment for me because it's something that I've never experienced which makes it that much better. Contentment is beyond loving people and sometimes it can start with loving you first. Or contentment can be whatever makes you feel at ease or loved in the most meaningful way. I'd love to know what your definitions of contentment are and what they mean to you. 💛💛