"Are you okay, Bre? You don't sound good."
Dreadful,
Fearful,
Tearful,
What did it mean to be okay?
Okay could be a noun, a verb, and an adjective... or even an adverb.
Being okay meant that I needed to be okay for her,
And being okay meant that I needed to lie for her,
For her sanity ... For her night's rest ... For her conscious,
The shakiness within my voice ... betrays the lies that occupy my mind,
Wondering if someone would ever think consciously of me that way,
Ridden with the traumas of the world, fate in my hands, and death in my heart,
I knew nothing but I knew everything that I wished I didn't,
"I need you," resides as bubbling tumor in my throat,
My hands are unsteady as I hold the phone close to my chest,
IT HURTS IT HURTS IT HURTS
Words couldn't describe the massive- okayness that I felt,
Okay had turned into a noun... I'm the living embodiment of okay,
And that's okay.
.
.
.
"I'm okay, ma. Really. I'm just tired and it's been a long day."
"Okay,"
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Artist: Toyin Ojih Odutola (Maebel)
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What's up, guys? I'm here with another poem about my mom cbhdbdjfn. Um, my mom and I have a very complicated relationship for a number of reasons and I think that's apart of growing up as girl in a of color family. Our households tend to be imbalanced with how we're treated in comparison to our siblings and etc... But I wrote this poem about my mom calling me the other day while I was having one of the worse days of my life. No matter how much I resent my mother and how disconnected that I am from her- it never fails me once I hear her voice. Whenever I hear my moms voice in a time of crisis, I always break down or I'm on the verge because it's hard to lie to her and I can't do it. She may not always like what I do and or say but I can never lie to her face and it's only easier to do when I'm at my dorm because she can't see me. But I know deep down she knows that I'm lying but for the sake of everything- she always says okay and we'll leave it alone and at some point I may or may not bring it up to her. But I just wanted to share a bit more about myself and this is only part one of this poem so there will be more to the story in a bit.
Also! I'm actually challenging myself to update every day for the rest of October. I'm super excited because I have so much content and I can't wait to share. But I hope everyone is doing well and school isn't killing you as much as it's trying to kill me. Keep fighting! Keep smiling! And keep doing your best! ❤️❤️
YOU ARE READING
It's my party and I can cry if I want to
PoesiaWelcome to my mind! These are a collection of poems that I wrote over the years that talk about my many intersecting identities. From being a college student to being a Black woman to being queer, etc... Explore the many themes of sexuality, self-d...
