It's my party and I can cry if I want to

Pain 🌹🤞🏾

Here lie the words of my torn but not broken heart,
The pain that I feel in my chest is immeasurable,
My hands are shaking,
My eyes are tearful,
And my throat is aching as I sob into the universe,
I never knew what pain truly felt like until I met you,

You are sinfully beautiful and If I could- I'd stare at you for hours,
Sometimes I did with your youthful and spirited photos,
Photos that were just for me- at least they were,
I asked for the truth but instead, you spewed a truth and a dagger,
A dagger that penetrated my soul and leaving me in a puddle of blood,
The same blood that use to run dry for you,
The same blood that would flow irregularly at the sight of you,
And the same blood that bled for you,
I never knew what pain truly felt like until I met you,

Anxiety builds in my gut as if someone had punched me,
In times like these, I wish that someone would have ... Just to take this pain away,
I'm here for you ... I'm here for us,
What is it that you want me to do?
Maybe there is nothing that I can do,
I'm just floating in denial and wishing for things to work when they don't,
You were brave enough to acknowledge that and I thank you for the both of us,
Sincerely,
Change is scary but that was something you never feared,
And for that, you were always so strong even if you didn't believe it...

I never knew what pain truly felt like until I met you.

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Artist: Unknown - I found this image on Tumblr! So if anyone knows then let me know!

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Brief Description:

As I write this to you- this was the moment that I ended things with the girl that I was so crazy for. We didn't end on a bad note with one another because we talked things out as best as we could. I tried and I tried so hard to make things better while they were falling apart before my eyes. Due to COVID, people aren't the same as you met them and she didn't feel like the person she was when she met me- she felt I deserved better. And nothing I said could've made it better but what I do know is that she'll always be someone special to me. I'll never forget the memories we've had and the amount of joy that she placed into my heart. I wrote this poem initially from a place of pain but as we talked things through- I realized that people will come and go. We were meant to meet for a reason and the universe purposely placed us in each other's path to grow and heal together. I'm not sad or heartbroken- I'm pretty tearful at the moment but out of happiness knowing that I did what I could and that she'll get better whether that's with me or not. I wish her so much happiness because she deserves it and I'm gonna continue to write and conquer my goals as I focus on myself for a while before trying again with someone new. However, I'm gonna continue to love hard and believe in the universe. Here's to taking risks and learning from them- here's to a newer me coming.💖💖