It's my party and I can cry if I want to

Wait for me 🤞🏾💛

Sweltering Summery Sunset,

It was a divine night,

I can vividly remember rushing through the dorm halls,

Drunkenly dancing, pranking our neighbors, and joyously laughing among ourselves,

Our wild curly kinks brashly fighting against the breeze,

Wait for me I said,

Hopelessly Humorously Hysterical,

Preparing for war as we wield our weapons,

Fighting against the world as we pretended we knew everything, but knew nothing,

Inevitably, a rude awakening was surely coming,

To be youthful yearning and yondering,

We promised forever, and soon three became two then ... one,

I remember holding your hands so fiercely as the blood rushed from my fingers into yours,

Surrendering myself as payment for refuge within your hearts,

Wait for me I said,

To be lonesome lugubrious and lifeless,

You had found yourselves in others as I had found myself within me,

Cursed by the universe for loving so hard or not at all,

I watched tearfully as the smiles within your eyes had cascaded down to your lips,

Deceitful Devastation ... Defeat,

Three had become two before my eyes,

Confusion contorted onto my face as I sought the universe,

What was it that I was doing wrong?

Partying among the lies as you spew dishonesty of me,

And yet, somehow, I still wanted to be with you,

Wait for me I said,

Serenity Sanguine ... Sincerity,

The divinity heard my war cries and gifted me a refurbished spirit,

After that night, we were never the same again,

And now ... you desperately needed me, but I no longer needed you,

My peace (fruitful), My sanity (healthy), and my spirit (beautiful),

Tactful Tender Thankful,

Don't wait up for me!

-

Artist: Kaye Donachie (Myself I think shall never know, how far beneath the wave I go)

-

Brief Description:

I wrote this poem about a friend group (which consisted of myself and two other girls) that I had when I first started college. I met them in a summer program before my first semester and after struggling with my mental health in high school- I thought this was my big break. I was in a less stressful environment and everyone saw me in college in comparison to high school. However, my happiness within this group was short lived when I had a falling out with one of the girls over something stupid and they ditched me. I didn't have an issue with the other girl but she chose her over me and it was hurtful because I loved them so much. I'm the type of person to love and care hard because I never half step my emotions- and for them to dispose of me as if I didn't matter crushed me for awhile until I found peace within myself. I had to realize that I should continue to love and care hard but only for those who deserve it. The world won't be kinder to you even if you're the kindest or sweetest person on this planet, but that doesn't mean that you need to shut out the world and become cold. Continue to fight and be unapologetically you in all forms. Love people hard but love yourself harder. 💙💙