CAUGHT

(E) Numbness Part 2

I tossed and turned while Eri slept next to me peacefully. Finally I sat up straight. The numbness was back. All the emotions I had been shrugging off were gone but this weight was different. A sliver shine caught my eye. The needle was there on my bedside table. Without thinking I slowly reached for it and brought its fine tip down on my finger. A small droplet of scarlet blood oozed out of my finger. I didn't feel pain as I sucked the blood away. I didn't feel pain as I lay in bed. I didn't feel pain as I closed my eyes. I didn't feel pain until the nightmare started.

I was awake again. I had barely slept 30 minutes. I reached for the needle adding another red dot to the 3 ones already on my palm. The blood dripped onto the floor and I fell asleep.

I was covered in sweat by 3 am. Wake up, needle, fall asleep, nightmare. I had down this at least 6 times. I looked down at my left hand. Small red dots littered it. I reached for the needle again and tried to fall back asleep but this time it didn't work. I needed something bigger. Something that would cause more pain. I got up out of bed remembering my mother's razors, one of the few things that hadn't melted in the fire. I remember searching the left over debris for hours searching for something that was ours.

I opened the cabinet in the bathroom and reached for the top shelf where the razors lay. They were still all packed up. I opened the wrapper and pulled out the replacement blades. I felt sick as I dragged the blade horizontally across my upper arm. Only Long sleeves for me now, I guess. I lost track of time as I cut. I started to feel dizzy so I looked down at my arms. You couldn't see the cuts under all the blood. That snapped me back to reality. I quickly washed the blood off and bandaged myself. Then I toweled up the blood on the ground.

I lay awake for the rest of the night.

When morning finally came, I busied myself by making pancakes. I put the pancakes down on the table and went to wake up Eri. She got dressed and then joined me at the table. She talked about this crazy dream she had with Koda and she had a faint blush on her cheeks. I learned in trying to pay attention, ignoring the slight stinging from my cuts.

"Hey, Eri?" She looked up at me. "Do you think you have a crush on Koda?"

"What's a crush?" She asked, confused. I smiled at her cute face.

"A crush is when you feel like you have a special place in your heart for a special person. You get flustered when they talk to you and you get butterflies in your stomach."

"I have a crush on Koda!" I smiled and laughed at her cute reaction.

"I'm happy for you Eri! Now finish your breakfast. I have to get to work- sorry I meant school.." She quickly finished and soon we were at the DayCAre. I signed her in and right as I was leaving Koda ran up to me.

"Excuse me sir...can I ask you a question?"

"Um," I said, checking the time. "Sure!"

"It's a secret so I have to whisper it...." He said. I crouched own to his level and he started whispering.

"I know that you are Eri's older brother and I want to ask you if she could be my girlfriend." He said a blush dusting his cheeks. I smiled at him.

"Of course you can but don't break her heart!"

"I would never!!!" He said as he ran back to Eri. Then I set off to UA.

A/N: AHHH my heart literally burst when I wrote that! Too cute! Almost as cute as you my little star ;)