Dizzy Izzy

Dizzy Izzy Chapter 3

Chapter 3

BRRIINNGG!!!! My alarm clock went off as usual. 7:00, I hate Wednesdays . I remembered the day before, my dinner with Mitch and the fight with Cassie. I rolled over, a little disappointed to see that Mitch wasn’t near me, wait! What was I just thinking?!?! I looked at my desk, there was a green post-it note on my alarm.  “See you at school, Dizzy. Thanks for last night. I had fun -Mitch”

 I love Wednesdays.... oh shit; Dad just came in and read the note. He totally got the wrong idea.

***

I caught the earliest bus so that I could avoid everyone questioning me on my usual bus. But unfortunately catching the first bus means that I only have 15 minutes to get to the bus stop. On the brighter side, I am both a morning and night person so I can stay up late and wake up early with enough energy to look reasonably presentable in 15 minutes. I am a ninja if I don’t say so myself. The half-hour of solitary confinement, (also known as public transport) gave me time to think about yesterday.

I have forgiven Cassie. I mean she punished me enough for crying so I am grateful that she kept me in a state of permanently dry eyes. Hopefully all this made me stronger.

I was rubbing my sprained ankle when Ian bordered the bus. I looked at him in surprise, why was he on this bus? But he seemed to have the same reason as me. “Come to think, Dizz?” and he knew he was right. Ian sat next to me and held my hand, like before. “I won’t leave you alone, like yesterday. It’s my entire fault, can you forgive me?” He looked at me with sad, guilty eyes that had not slept all night. I took my hand away from his; I was confused about my feelings between him and Mitch. But I knew what I had to do then. I smiled. “You know that I forgive you, now and forever, we’ll always be friends.” A glistening tear of joy trickled down his cheek. He blushed and turned away. What an awkward bus trip.

***

We got to school and hung out at the usual spot, laughing and joking. Ian told me about how he accidentally got Mr Frowler covered in coke two days before. I couldn’t stop laughing.  “I am so glad that you can still laugh here with me.”

Then he leaned in. This was it, my first kiss. We were so close, closer than on the bus yesterday, I closed my eyes and...

“Hey guys, watcha’ doin??” Maddie and April sang in unison, jumping from around the corner. Julia couldn’t help but giggle. Me and Ian just sat there, blushing. Then the rest of the group came.

At recess, the group surrounded me, like I was under interrogation or something. Then suddenly Sarah shoved a smallish box at me, wrapped in blue paper with everyone’s names on it. “Open it” Max urged. Then the guys egged me on. I was careful at first, but then Mitch told me to hurry up and rip it open. When I got to the box I realised that it was a mobile phone; everyone had pitched in to get one for me.

“So we can text you on the weekends” Said Maddie, Sarah and April nodded

“So I don’t have to go through your father to talk to you.” Said Ian

“So you can call us in emergencies.” Said Mitch. Everyone was stunned, and I knew that Mitch had said what everyone else was thinking. Then they all hugged me. It was the first time in my life that I felt like I belonged somewhere. Right there, with my friends.

***

Stuck in double maths, luckily, or unluckily, Mitch and April were in the same math class. Mr. Condon was rambling on. “We have increasing reports of... blah blah blah!” I tuned out and thought of all my friends. I started to think about who I would rather was my first kiss, Ian or Mitch. Ian was kind and funny, but Mitch was always there for me, and looked after me all of yesterday. “Thinking about me, baby?” Mitch whispered in my ear. “Too close, man whore.” I replied. Forget what I just thought, Mitch could never compare to Ian. So then why was I so happy when he whispered to me just now? He passed me a torn scrap of paper, one side was typed information about pie graphs and percentages, but on the other side was Mitch’s unstable block letters.

Meet me after school, at the tree where I found you yesterday.

I don’t know why I did.

***

It was cold, the chilly autumn air was two icy, it felt more like winter. I had told my English teacher that I had to go home early for a doctors’ appointment, but really I was meeting Mitch at the tree and I wanted to be there early. After waiting 5 minutes, I got cold and I started feeling unstable, the tree became warped and I felt like I was going to pass out, I wasn’t over the concussion from the day before. I fell off the metal bench, what is with this spot? Mitch has to keep finding me here.

***

I don’t remember losing consciousness, but somehow I flashed back to when I was at Darren’s funeral, there was a woman there, she cried for my brother, but I didn’t know her, I assumed she was one of my father’s acquaintances, but I was distracted and didn’t care. Now that I think of it, she was almost identical to me as I am now, perhaps five or six years older. Maybe my Aunt? My mother was named Isobel too, when Dad called my name, she also looked his way. Maybe she was my... no, she can’t be. Dad would have told me. I guess I have to wake up from this nightmare now.

Déjà vu struck me, Mitch was calling me again. Just like before. I sometimes wondered, if my world were to be controlled by another, so I created these short stories about a girl named Sara, her friends were similar to mine, and she felt similar pain that I do, I guess I made her up so that I could control something, anything in my life. But then I continued to explore my theory.

What if this Sara, was a real person somewhere, what if she wrote stories about me? I guess that that is was way of believing in a God. Sara is a Christian, but she is unhappy with herself for sinning. I wish I could believe in something like her. She is also ugly, like me, but she is lucky enough not to have guys chase her. Though she wishes someone would acknowledge her as a girl. Wow, I guess I do know her. Sara, if you exist, please show yourself, I need you and I believe you need me. But perhaps you really are just a fictional character; then again, maybe I am too.

***

I woke up, what a weird dream. Mitch was sitting with me, he had put my head on his lap and wrapped his own jumper around my torso, and he sat there shivering. I sat up and my hands felt warm, so I placed them on his cheeks. I returned his jumper, he was reaching to take it, but changed his mind, what he grabbed was me. Mitch pulled me to his chest and held me tight. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry.” I pushed away slightly to see if he was okay, but my cheeks were wet again. I was the one crying?

I closed my eyes, the tears were burning me, I couldn’t stand it. “It hurts.” I whispered. Then he kissed me. His hands were still holding me close, he was shaking, but not from the cold. I could feel his emotions right then. I heard his thoughts at that moment. “I’m scared. I’m afraid, I don’t want to lose you, just let me hold you a while longer.”  His lips tasted salty, probably from my tears, we drew apart. I could still hear him. “Don’t go, don’t leave me, stay here, please.” I couldn’t stop trembling. I still needed to embrace him. He kissed the top of my head. “I love you.” But this was not a thought. He said it out loud.

I could no longer hear his mind, only his empty words. Why did his thoughts have such emotion? What happened and why can’t I hear him now? I staggered to my feet, my knees still cold from the wet leaves. I ran away from his side, confused and ashamed, it was a long journey home. 

***