Hamsters and Houseplants: A Phan Fanfiction

Dan's Secret

"Phil," Dan hesitated. "Ever since I was a kid I've been attracted to houseplants, you know,they're small and adorable, so innocent. I couldn't resist, so one day I took my pants off and rubbed my penis against a plant."

Phil stopped himself from laughing. "Umm...well, why did you let me keep houseplants all this time?" Phil asked. "I don't know Phil, I didn't want it to be really noticeable so I thought you should have kept them. Also, well, I don't know, there's something really sexy about the houseplant in the bathroom that triggered something for me," Dan said.

"Well, I guess we all have weird things about us. Like, I didn't even know I was attracted to hamsters until just now..." Phil said, motioning to his boner. "Wow Phil, that is pretty huge," Dan said, cringing. "This hasn't happened to me in a long time. Just that houseplant, it looked me straight in the eyes."

"Yeah, I can tell that one really turned you on," Phil said, looking at Dan's huge boner. Dan blushed. "Come on! Don't be ashamed Dan! I actually think its kind of cute that you're attracted to houseplants..I mean..not in a weird way or anything.." Phil said. "Well, to be honest Phil, it's not healthy you get horny over a harmless animal. Goodness we need therapists. Pronto." Dan replied. "Yeah, you're probably right, we're some strange people," Phil joked.

"Phil, please go throw away all those plants before I turn into hulk or something," Dan ordered. "Fine," Phil said and walked out of Dan's room. He hid the houseplants, but brought the one from the bathroom into Dan's room. He knew it was a bad thing to do, but he thought Dan's fetish was so cute. Dan was sitting down on the floor rocking back and forth. He thought to himself "Never again, never again, never again...." That's when he turned around and saw the sexy houseplant there.