Hamsters and Houseplants: A Phan Fanfiction

The Prank

The comment read, "Hello guys, my name is Dr. Blackery and I'm a specially trained therapist. Here in my office we experience a lot of different fetishes like that so don't get worried! If you two ever have questions my phone number is below." Dan looked over at Phil.

"Should we call?" Phil asked. "Phil, we literally have no other options, we might as well." Dan said. "Okay," Phil took his phone out of his pocket and dialed the number. On the other side of the phone a high female voice came on. "Hello?"

Phil put it on speaker phone. "Hello, is this Dr. Blackery?" In the distance you could hear someone clearing their throat. "Ahem um yes, yes, this is Dr. Blackery." "Hi, uh, this is Dan and Phil. You commented on our question about our fetishes," Dan said.

"Oh yess!!! Omg is this really Dan and Phil?! Cause omg if it's not then it's not cool that you're trolling." The voice replied. "Um, is that really the way a therapist should be talking?" asked Dan, suspiciously. *Coughs "Um of course not, sorry I don't know what happened there." Phil looked at Dan, his expression saying he thought something was weird about this.

"Um, okay so I have some really good ideas to rid you of these weird fetishes," Said Dr. Blackery. "What are they?" Phil asked. "I'd like you to come down to my office and we can talk face to face." There was girly laughter in the background.

"Well," said Dan "How do we know you're legit? For all we know you want to kidnap us. It's better over the phone." "Yeah, I'm not sure we really want to do that," Phil replied.

"Oh my gosh Becky! Stop laughing so loudly, you're gonna blow our cover!" A teenage voice said. "Fine Rebecca, this is just to funny." Responded another girl in the background. Dan and Phil looked at eachother clearly confused but had an idea to what was going on. "Uh, I think we're gonna hang up now," Phil said.

"No no no! Please don't omg we aren't stalkers, we just wanted to have a little fun," said the girl named Rebecca. "Who are you really?" Phil asked, annoyed.

"Well my name is Rebecca and this is my friend Becky," Becky in the background said "Hi." We just thought it'd be funny to prank you guys or something, like we didn't know if it was really Dan and Phil. Btw we are big fans," They said as they squealed.

"Well, we love our fans, and we don't want to be rude, but that wasn't very funny," Phil said back. "Yeah you bloody twats! The fuck you think we were kidding? We're serious," Dan said angrily. Dan noticed he was very rude and apologized.

"Yeah well, what do you expect we're teenagers," responded the girls. "Well, we would also very much appreciate if you wouldn't mention any of this to anyone ever in your entire lives," Phil said. "Ha ha ha... I don't know about that," said Rebecca. There was a smirk behind that laugh. "But why not? I thought you guys liked us," Phil answered.  "We do! Ha ha ha but like Reb said, we're teenagers," responded Becky, obviously the dumbest one between the two.

Phil rolled his eyes. "Listen twats, I'm not about to deal with two hormonal teenage girls. You're gonna do as I say, got it? You better bloody not tell anyone or else we'll call the police for harassment," Dan said practically yelling into the phone. "Yeah, who are they gonna believe two grown men or two teenage girls?" Phil said calmly.

Dan looked over at Phil and saw how well he was taking things. Dan felt ashamed and yearned for a lick on the face from Phil, but he had to restrain himself. They could hear the girls hesitating on the phone.

"Hmm, okay fine, I don't want my mum to find out....but, lets make a deal...can we make a fanfic out of this?" Dan and Phil rolled their eyes. "Fine." "Okay thanks guys!!!!" and they hang up.

Phil looked over at Dan "Wow," he said, annoyed. "God Phil, the hell do we do now? Our only chance to get rid of these fetishes, gone," Dan said. "I know, this sucks Dan, it fucking sucks," Phil said. Dan gasped,"Phil.... did you just swear?!" "Yeah..I guess I did," Phil responded, shocked. "Phil, I'm all out of ideas." Dan said, tired and hopeless.