Hamsters and Houseplants: A Phan Fanfiction

The Fight

"How about we just take some time to relax and think this out, you know? It's really stressful for both of us, and I think we need a break from it all, maybe just walk around for a while," Phil said. "That's a great idea Phil, let me just get a coat," Dan replied. "Okay, I'm gonna get mine too, I'll meet you by the door," Phil said.

Dan and Phil went outside of their apartment to get on the nearest tube. "Fuck Phil. I'm tired as hell." Dan said, wheezing. "Yeah, me too. We need to start exercising, but who wants to do that, right?" "Fuck no, definitely not me." Dan replied.

The tube soon arrived and Dan and Phil had to take a seat next to a suspicious looking man who kept eyeing Phil like a pedo. Phil looked at the man from the corner of his eye and looked back at Dan. "Uhh...Dan? That man is looking at me funny," Phil whispered. Dan looked over at the man. He gave him a dirty look, hoping he wouldn't have to do anything else.

The man continued to look at Phil in a very sexual way. Phil scooted closer to Dan, practically sitting in his lap, while the man made a creepy, sexual grunting sound.

Dan got out of his seat and stood in front of the man. "Hey, I don't like the way you're looking at my friend. I'm going to kindly ask you to quit it." "Dan..." Phil trailed off, feeling awkward as everyone was now looking at them.

"You're friend is quite sexy," the man said with a smirk. "Uhh...Dan?" Phil asked, wondering what they should do. "It's okay, Phil, We're gonna settle this right now." Dan replied.

"Listen here, buddy. I told you once and I won't tell you again. Quit looking at him, alright? You're basically sexually harassing him!" Dan said, angrily.

The man winked at Dan. "Well, maybe you should ask your friend here if he likes it. I bet he does," he said in a sexual way. "The bloody hell do you think I am?!" That's it, I'm calling the police," Dan shouted.

"Well, I mean, Dan, do you really think we have to do that? I mean, we're almost at our stop, maybe we should just ignore him," Phil said quietly. "See, your little friend here likes it," The man said.

"No, Phil. Nobody looks at you that way except for me," Dan said, blushing. "And nobody disrespects you that way," He said, turning back to the man.

Phil sat there, not knowing what to say. Everyone was looking at them and whispering to each other. "Are you going to quit looking at my friend? I literally have the police on speed dial," Dan told the man.

"I don't think so, boy. I like your little friend very much," He said. Phil looked down and saw the man had a boner. "Oh god..." he said under his breath.

Dan grabbed the man by the collar of his shirt and punched him in the face, making him fall back and hit the window. "Dan!" Phil shouted, putting his hand on Dan's shoulder. "What!?" Dan turned around, nearly knocking Phil over.

"Dan, you could get in really big trouble for this. I mean, we do have a lot of witnesses," Phil said, looking around.

"WELL THEY SAW THE WAY HE WAS LOOKING AT YOU! I COULDN'T LET HIM DO THAT!" Dan shouted.

Phil sighed and kissed Dan on the cheek, but the man started getting back up. Dan blushed, holding back how much he wanted make out right then and there.

"Mind me joining?" The man asked, holding his bloody nose. "Oh, fuck off," Phil said, very angry now.

Just as Phil said that, the train stopped. "This is our stop Dan, let's get away from this creep," Phil said. They walked off, Dan glaring at the man the whole way.

"Phil, if there's ever anyone who makes you feel uncomfortable, you'll tell me, right?" Dan asked. "Of course, Dan," Phil smiled, kissing him again.

As they were passing a wall, Dan couldn't keep himself from eating Phil's face off, so he pushed him against the wall and made out with him furiously. Phil slid his hands under Dan's jacket and grabbed onto the back of his shirt tightly.

"Fuck yeah," Dan moaned. "Wait, Phil, we shouldn't be doing this right now," Dan said. Phil sighed, still holding Dan as close as he could. "Okay, I guess you're right, let's go then," He replied.