Beautiful Art

XXIV

Brian Mandeville's POV

"The jury finds the defendant guilty," the clerck said then the judge finally adjourned the court.

This past few days was impenetrable for me since Anna asked for a space. I couldn't even think properly that I have neglected my work. It affects me so much that congress decided to deprived me from my oath. Now I have nothing. I would have only with Anna beside me now pero pati sya pinagkait pa. I'm so fucked up.

I tried not to think all over her but I just can't. I always think that we're still together anyway but I just can't stop being paranoid that she might want to deprived me also. Even more that we totally have no connection. Kahit sa condo nya hindi ko rin sya naabutan everytime I would packed her a lunch or any food just like what she used to do. Thinking that she might want to meet me again if I made her feel that I'm still here.

Ten days have been passed since the judge tap the gavel and here I am putting my things in a box. Still, Anna was running through my mind. She's all I remember everywhere I go.

"Senator, nasa baba na po si Mang Danny." Amelia suddenly came in. I saw how sad she is knowing that I'm leaving.

"Tell him na sunduin na lang si Ashley. I'll use my car. Sa condo muna ako. Pasabi na lang din kay Ashley," I said. She just nodded then she already headed out.

I roam my eyes around the room, reminiscing Anna and I's memories here. From the first day that she brought me lunch, this room felt delighted from the life she gave in. It was all a happy memories. I wish I could have more.

I chuckled bitterly and shooked my head to recoup myself. I just take a last glance then I already went out of the room. I straightly go home and decided to spend my day watching tv. But it was just an hour ago but seems like Anna won't leave me that most of the commerical that aired, she was there.

I just tried to ignore it and focus more to the teleserye I'm watching. It's already 5 PM when I gave up. She's all I see. I kept thinking of her, imagining all the ladies reflecting in the tv was her.

I can't take myself being senti anymore so I decided to go to the convenience store acrossed the street. It's almost a summer but it's raining outside. I decided just to run under the rain since it's just across the street.

Pinagpag ko ang damit ko pag pasok ko ng convenience store and my shoes on the rug. I just get a bottle of water and the unhealthy -I guess- meal that they are selling. I went through the cashier and pay them. I just waited for a minute before I get that meal. I was thinking to eat it here but I was about to pull a chair when I remembered Anna again. Here was our second meet as far as I rememeber. I'm not sure tho.

I just decided to eat in my condo so I headed out the store. Thank God, rain is not that heavy anymore unlike earlier.

"Hoy!" I just entered the building of our condominium when someone grab my arm. I'm expecting -I really wish it's Anna but I saw Katrina instead. She smells liquor.

"Uminom ka?" I asked a bit nervous, thinking about the baby in her tummy. She's walking deadly like she couldn't even bring herself up so I held both of her shoulder, supporting her weight. "Let's go."

"Have you change your mind?" She suddenly opened a topic that I actually don't know.

"What do you mean?" I asked. I pressed a button beside the elevator as we reached it. She didn't answered until the elevator oppened. We went in and I pressed the floor button where Anna's condo is.

"About the baby?" My brows furrowed from what she said. I don't get her point opening a topic to me about her baby.

"What about the baby?" I still asked though It's not for me to meddle. I just think she need someone who she can burst out her feelings. I was still holding her to keep her balance. She's even wearing heels for pete's sake. What the hell is this girl doing?

"Nevermind. Maybe you don't want to talk about it." Thank god the elevator opened so we get out. "You never wanted the baby anyway."

"What?" I almost shout, surprised from what she said. "I never wanted the baby? Oh Jesus, you're totally drunk."

Napailing na lang ako. Maybe she thought she was with the father of her baby. I tighten my grip on her and take a step forward. I was just on my first step when I saw Anna outside her unit, doing something on the doornob, but stoped when she noticed us.

"Anna!" I blast. I don't even know what to do or to feel.

"What are you doing here?" She calmly asked. There's something in her eyes that I can't figure out.

"Ihahatid ko lang si Kat-"

"Bakit dito?" She cut me off. I'm a bit nervous that she might got the wrong idea. "Bakit hindi sa condo mo? 'Cause I think it's where she should be."

"Anna, hindi." I was about to run towards her but I remembered Katrina. I just looked at Katrina for a second and fixed her weight beafore looking back to Anna. She's looking to my hand that is holding on Katrina's arm.

"I think you're hurting her. Losen the grip," she commanded. I didn't listen and looked deep on her eyes. She sighed and open the door widely.

I don't know what to do anymore so I just watched her helping me carry Katrina inside her unit. We're about to enter her room but she shooked my hands away, obviously don't want me to enter. She closed the door as they went inside the room and I was just standing against the door, waiting her to come out.

She went out, flinched a bit as she saw me. "Ano pang ginagawa mo dito?"

"Usap na tayo please," I pleaded. I'm about to reached her hands but she avoid it and headed to the kitchen. I followed her. "Anna please na, oh."

"Next time na lang." She opened the fridged as she get a glass and pulled out a pitcher. She suddenly faced me as she closed the fridge. Blangko nya lang akong tinignan at agad ding umiwas at pumunta sa counter top. I suddenly felt a sting on my chest.

"I love you," I said like I was reminding her. She stops for a second and turn her head to me.

"That you even loved my friend?" She scoffed. "Brian, kaibigan ko 'yon, eh."

"Anna, hindi naman, eh," I tried to deny but I think it'll be hard to convinced her. "I will never do such things. Ikaw lang, Anna, ikaw lang."

"Just go." It hurts me even more.

"Anna-"

"I said go, Brian!" She exclaimed. I washed my face with my hands, frustrated. How did this things went wrong.

"I can't, Anna. I need you. I already lost everything. Please, not even you!" She looked at me, confused and made me realize what I just said.

"Brian!" Ramdam ko ang inis sa boses nya. I looked away to avoid her gaze before turning my back and faced the wall. My tears starts falling and I don't want her to see it. "Humarap ka sa 'kin, Brian-"

"Ayoko," pagmamatigas ko. "Dito lang ako."

"Why are you doing this? I asked for space para ayusin yung dapat nating ayusin-"

"How I could not? I kept thinking of you," I said in monotone still looking at the wall. "You're all I see, Anna. Kahit saan ako pumunta, ikaw pa rin naaalala ko. Pano ako makakapag isip ng maayos kung ikaw lang lagi iniisip ko."

"Brian, ano ba 'tong ginagawa mo?" I heard her being dissapointed at me. "Ano pa bang pwede kong gawin para maging maayos-"

"I only want two things in this world, Anna." I cut her off and I finally had the courage to face her. "I want you. And I want us."