Beautiful Art

XXVIII

Brianna Huangco's POV

"Brian." I blocked the door before he could close it again. He looked at me, confused. "I'm sorry please."

"For what?" He raised his right eyebrow. My lips are trembling, couldn't find words to say. "Ako ang my kasalanan sayo. Bakit ka nag sosorry?"

"I don't know," I am stuttering. "Because I don't like this? I love you, Brian. And as much as I want to stop this feelings-"

"Stop?" He asked like he's not expecting me to say it.

"Yes. I want to stop this feeling 'because it hurts me so much." My tears start to run down on my face. "But fuck it, Brian, I can't. I can't stop myself from loving you. I can't afford to lose you."

"But you're the one who break up first," he told me. I can sense the anger in his voice.

"I'm wrong, Brian-"

"I was hurt too." Nagsimula na ding mamuo ang luha sa mata nya but he managed them not to fall down and control himself from anger too. "I knelt in front of you! I held your Hands-I begged. But you..."

Hindi niya pa natatapos ang sasabihin nya nang tumalikod sya sa akin at sinabunutan ang sarili buhok. I also couldn't take it any longer and I broke down in front of him.

"I could bear losing my career but not you," he said still facing against me. "Bakit mo 'to ginagawa sa 'kin, Anna? Ang sakit, eh."

"I... I'm sorry. I am wrong. If only I could turn back the time, I wouldn't follow you and meet you so you wouldn't be hurt like this." I told him.

"Bullshit, Anna," he whispered. "I didn't regret any of that. It hurts but I love you but you chose to leave me alone. That hurts much more than ever." He finally turn around and face me.

"You said you only used me." I suddenly remembered. He chuckled sarcastically like he got even more angry about my statement.

"It's fucking alibi, Anna!" He burst out so as his tears running down. "You want me to go! Kahit masakit, pagbibigyan kita!"

"And I want you now, Brian!" I fired back.

"Masakit na, Anna! Hindi ko na alam kung hanggang saan na lang ako. Hindi ko na kaya. Gusto ko na din mawala 'tong sakit na 'to. But getting back to you is no longer the answer." he looked at me like he wanted to stab that. "Let this be an experience and a lesson for the both of us."

The last thing that I heard from him then I already walk away-heading to my unit. I was in so much pain but I could no longer bear to see him hurt more because of me. The only good thing that happened is at least we show each other's emotion we kept in ourselves for a long time.

Si Kat ang bumugad sa 'kin pag pasok ko ng unit ko. She Immediately stood up when she saw that I had just cried. She approached me but I didn't let her pity me and I told her I'm fine before walking towards the bathroom.

I was just overthinking the whole time I am taking a bath and I couldn't help but to cry the whole night. I woke up at 11 AM with my eyes are swollen.

Supposed to be, I should be in Manager Kim's office right now to work on Esquivel's paper but I postponed it and decided to take a rest first. Kahit isang araw lang I want to give myself a break from continues problem that is happening right now.

As a thought of taking a rest for day, it happened in a week. I haven't finished Esquivel's paper and I also neglect all the schedules I have to run to for the week. Good the that Dad already handle with that and make an excuse for me which surprised me. Though he used to do that, it still surprised me every time he does a favor to me. Maybe I was really the one who make myself away from them.