Remember

Untold

⚠️ not a ton of sensitive topics in here, just a vague rundown, so please read at your own risk! <3

Hoseok's body shuddered as the two followed him back inside the house. The vibe between them was distraught and had a hint of awkwardness. Before being able to say anything, Hoseok spoke. "I apologize," he murmured. "Talking about it makes me want to throw up and it... brings me back to the same mindset I had then." Instead of answering, the two nodded, not having the courage to talk.

"We um," Jimin finally spoke up. "I'm sorry I broke my promise. It was a shock, Hoseok." The lack of emotion and the usage of his real name aside from the cute nickname Jimin would usually call him caught Hoseok off guard, but he had expected it nonetheless.

"I understand. I just didn't get a chance to finish." Hoseok motioned them to sit back down in their seats in the kitchen. "It gets a lot brighter from here on out."

Despite the unsettling feeling of sitting next to someone who unintentionally murdered his father, the two gave him a chance to speak for himself. Just then, a sudden pain sparked through Jimin's head, causing him to grunt out loud, grabbing his head with both hands. "I have a headache," He mumbled. "This is too much." Hesitant to talk, Hoseok offered the guest bedroom upstairs for him to lay down on.

"This door was locked the whole time we lived here," he reassured. "The bed is new anyways, where I sleep every time I come visit." Once Yoongi and Hoseok were back in the kitchen, Yoongi let Hoseok begin explaining himself.

"I did in fact get therapy," Hoseok subtly shaded Yoongi's past comment. "I did come back home and deal with the cops. Went to court and ended up not going to jail. They called it a suicide after finding my dad's camera of all sort of videos of him beating us. They sent me to an orphanage at one point after childcare services took me away, but my grandma fought for me and cared for me all until about mid July of last year. She passed away. I didn't want to stay in Gwangju anymore. It held memories I didn't want to remember, so I blindly chose a place on a map and Daegu ended up being the place I was headed." The story's end surprised Yoongi. "Hopefully you understand, I'm changed now," Hoseok's eyes shined as he looked at him with hope.

"Is that it?" Yoongi asked, not really sure what he meant himself. "To your story I mean."

"I'm not crazy," Hoseok somewhat whispered. "Wanted to change and become a new person so here I am. I don't talk about my past for a reason. Thought I could trust you guys enough." Yoongi nodded, listening to him talk. "I had therapy for about 4 years, I still sometimes go," Hoseok continued on. "That all happened on a rainy day which is why I used to go home all the time. I'd hold Mickey until my mind was relaxed again... she helped me ignore the voice of my sister telling me to calm down the morning before she died... but then I found something that made me feel happier and more at ease." Hoseok looked up at Yoongi, smiling.

"You."

The circumstances flew out the window once Yoongi heard this and his face went red. "The day we met, you were this... lone star in the galaxy who didn't seem to have a care in this world. The way you spoke so nonchalantly and didn't spare me a glance until I spoke to you first. Something about you... enlightened me," Hoseok reminisced their first meeting, chuckling at the memory he had of Yoongi from back then. "It were as if you had no worries or care for others. After growing up with a mom whose life revolved around others approval, you were something new and refreshing," Hoseok went on. "I knew at that moment I had to get to know you. We ended up being more similar than I thought; both poor, had a broken history, and the same spark."

Yoongi's mouth hung open, never realizing the amount of respect and love Hoseok genuinely had for him. Something hit him after Hoseok pulled out the pendent Jimin had gifted him after his return from Busan. The way he caressed the picture of him and Jimin inside of it made Yoongi realized something.

Hoseok indefinitely had a cursed past. His emotionally disturbing childhood just led him to go from one thing to another. The trauma and his environment as a child made him this way; none of the blame should go on him.

Yoongi was the same.

He himself was torn after his parents suicide. He used to cry himself to sleep and do things that a 15 year old shouldn't even be thinking about i.e. drugs, sex, robbing. The only difference between them was Hoseok wasn't old enough then to realize his wrongdoings.

He was 12 and did something he wouldn't have expected to kill his father. All he wanted was for him to suffer, the same way Yoongi wanted for others to feel his pain. The man did in fact kill himself. Hoseok had been brainwashed his whole life into believing every bad thing was his fault, and to this day, he still carried that burden with him. He had to hold onto the fact that he killed his father when in fact the man killed himself. It was intentional.

He wanted to die.

He was just hitting two birds with one stone by this— getting to end his life all while ruining his own sons. Yoongi threw his back, running his hands through his hair as guilt rushed through him. "I'm sorry," Yoongi apologized. "Hoseok, none of that is your fault, you know that, right?" Hoseok looked up at him, tears dissolving into his shirt as they dripped down.

"I didn't mean to kill him," Hoseok whispered, almost inaudibly. "He... He knew."

"I know," Yoongi held Hoseok in his chest, running his thin fingers over the cuts on Hoseok's body. Useless. Ugly. Loud. The harsh words covered his arms and back alongside the purple bruises that seemed to have never lost pigment. "I thought you said the scars would fade," Yoongi questioned. "Why are they still here?" Hoseok's body shook in his arms.

"I did these ones," He finally replied. "Back when I was still in therapy. Cut them deeper than she did so they would last longer." Yoongi pulled Hoseok off of him, staring at his crying face. He got up and began rummaging through Hoseok's kitchen drawers. When Hoseok thought he was gonna pull out a knife, Yoongi pulled out a black sharpie instead. "Turn around," he commanded, and Hoseok abided.

"What are you doing?" Hoseok queried. Yoongi didn't answer and kept writing on his back whatever he may. Hoseok patiently sat still, waiting for Yoongi to finish his writing.

"There," Yoongi closed the cap on the marker. "Much better." Hoseok handed Yoongi his phone so that he could snap a picture. The scars were crossed out with small stars and what Hoseok assumed was a really bad drawing of the Milky Way. Yoongi also added 3 representations of them around the Milky Way: Hoseok as the sun who was the light of the group, Jimin as Earth who gave everyone life and care, and Yoongi as Pluto who is isolated and cold yet still an important aspect. Right in the center of it all read one word:

Hope.

Oml. I almost cried because I love Hoseok a lot lol. I'm not done with sope just YET but we're getting there! I hope this isn't too much or too little..?? Anyways, thank you for reading! See you next chapter xxx